


Starved for Love

by LBellicose



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bondage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Forced Voyeurism, Kidnapping, Kylo needs a hug, Lonely souls, Love/Hate, Oral Sex, Rey Needs A Hug, Self-Harm, Sex, Starvation, Stockholm Syndrome, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-19 20:49:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18978091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LBellicose/pseuds/LBellicose
Summary: Tied to a chair with a ball gag in her mouth is the worst place for Rey to be when her demons come to visit.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going through and reposting my stories, I feel a little weird about reposting everything not sure what will get reposted or not. So if there was a story someone liked, let me know and I'll repost it. thank you all

Rey could hear him talking to someone. She sat bound to the chair, a ball gag in her mouth, her hands, and feet tied to the chair.

 

His deep voice filled the space, “I’m sorry, I’m kind of nervous about this, my girlfriend has this fantasy.” She could hear him pause, a soft sound if she didn’t know better she guessed he just swallowed. “She likes to be bounded and gagged. Usually, it’s just us, but it’s her birthday, and she wanted something extra, she wants me to fuck someone while she watches.” She could hear him exhale loudly, “I’m sorry, I’ve never done this before, and I love her so much.”

 

“Honey it’s ok, I completely understand, I think it’s so sweet of you to do this for her, I can see how nervous you are, but don’t worry I’ll make sure it’s special for everyone.” The woman’s voice was soft and reassuring.

 

“Thank you,” he sighs, “one last thing, I’ll give you a generous tip, if you can act like she isn’t in the room, don’t even look in her direction?”

 

“Sure, honey we can do that,”

 

After a minute they both walk in, neither look in Rey’s direction. She turns to help Kylo off with his shirt; he leans down to kiss her lips softly. He turns her around to unzip her dress, kissing her shoulder as the dress slips down her slim form and pools on the floor at her feet. Kylo turns her so Rey can get an eye full, her full breast covered by a lace bra. She moans as he pulls the strap down leaving little love bites as he moves down her arm. He unhooks her bra; she slumps her shoulders forward letting the bra slip off, Kylo turns her towards him, kneeling he lavishes her breast with kisses sucking on each of her large nipples, as he pulls her panties down.

 

Rey sits quietly, closing her eyes, she refuses to watch it, the sound of moans fills the room. Rey seething, she knows his game, she thinks he’s a fool if he thinks she cares who he fucks.

 

Rey heard them climb on the bed, the pretty blonde grunts as Kylo sighs, then the lecherous sound of flesh slapping against one another.

 

“Oh, fuck yes, “the blonde moans, “oh my god you’re so fucking big, fuck.” She moans louder.

 

Kylo groans, Rey can tell he is increasing his thrust into the whore. She doesn’t care, Rey tells herself, she can’t help but think about the night he took her. She had met him in a bar; he looks so hot dressed all in black, the proverbial bad boy. The sex was incredible; she had never felt so full. But what was only supposed to be a one-night stand, turned into Rey being locked in a room with no windows. Rey grits her teeth. The blonde is loud, Rey isn’t sure if it's real or a show for her benefit and a large tip.

 

Soon she hears the moans stop; she opens her eyes to see the blonde putting back on her dress. She smiles at Kylo following him out the door.

 

Kylo returns to take the ball gag out of her mouth, giving Rey a chance to move her jaw soothing the cramp in her jaw muscles.

 

“Did you enjoy the show, Precious? Kylo asks, running the tip of his finger along her cheek and jawline.

 

“I was bored if you must know the truth,” Rey retorted.

 

Kylo stood for a moment, slipping his hand between her thighs, down the front of the shorts she is wearing, his finger comes back glistening with her wetness.  
“mm, something tells me, that you were not that bored.”

 

“Fuck you” Rey spits out.

 

“Aww Precious, I’m spent for now, maybe next time.”

 

He unties her and leads her back to the room that has no windows, with a large padlock on the outside of the door. There is a twin-size bed, and a table and two chairs, with a small bathroom adjoining the room, but nothing else. No tv, radio, or even a book, the room has a sole purpose, and Rey is not ready yet to fulfill that.

 

Rey is left in her room; alone she climbs into the bed pulling the blanket under her chin. She knows that he will not “force himself on her,” he wants to break her, he wants her to beg for it. She is determined he will not win this battle of wills. She has lived through so many horrors. This is a walk in the park.

 

The next morning, he brings her breakfast, he sets it on the small table in her room. He takes a seat and waits for her to take the other. Rey sits down, coldly eyeing him, before she eats her breakfast, she refuses to speak to him.

 

“Did you have any interesting dreams last night Precious?” he asks watching her devour the eggs.

 

She only glances at him before her attention returns to her plate. Kylo smiles and continues.

 

“I dreamt, you were laid across my bed,” he licks his lips, “bare before me, a thing of beauty.” His voice deep and rich, “I tasted you, savored you on my lips.” He sat his legs spread wide, his hand palming his cock over his pants, just a glance and she knew he was hard.

 

Rey pushes the half-eaten breakfast away from her standing up, “excuse me, I think I’m going to be sick,” she turned on her heels walking into the bathroom and shuts the door. Her back was resting against the hardwood, she expected him to push the door open and demand her attention. Instead, she heard the outside door open and closed then the snap of the lock.

 

When she exits the bathroom, she sees he had taken the plate. She is left in the room alone for the next six hours with only her thoughts.

 

Rey is hungry, so when he returns at noon with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sliced apples, Rey devoured it all within a couple of minutes. She didn’t want to give him a chance to take the food. Kylo sat the entire time watching with a bemused look on his face.

 

“So Precious, what have you been doing?” he looks around like he would find hidden contraband, knowing there is nothing in the room.

 

Rey chooses not to play his game, instead sits giving him her drop-dead look.

 

He stands and walks to the bed, laying back his head on her pillow, his massive frame makes the twin size bed look comically small. He rests his hands behind his head, watching Rey.

 

“It’s comfortable,” he says watching her expression.

 

Rey glances at him, “My bed is comfortable.” she replies with a venomous tone.

 

Kylo smiles, “Do you want me to bring it here for you?” he grins watching her face twist in anger.

 

“Don’t you fucking go near my home,” she stands walking over to him, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Let me go Kylo, please no one has to know. You haven’t done anything unforgivable yet.”

 

Kylo’s grin falters, he gets up from the bed and walks to the small table and takes the plate, without a word and leaves the room, she hears the padlock snap in place again.

 

He brings in a different girl, same story, each time she is tied and gagged in the corner of the room and ignored. She tells herself she doesn’t care, he’s only fooling himself. After he’s done fucking whatever whore he’s brought in, he takes her back to her room, kisses her on the forehead and wishes her sweet dreams.

 

She hates him with a passion. She is tired of his games. He insists on watching her eat her meals and engaging in small talk, at first, she resisted, but soon she can’t help herself out of sheer boredom. Soon she is looking forward to her meals. They discuss everything from movies to food, their most significant debate which led to some colorful choice words on both sides was which was better Star Wars or Star Trek.

 

It turned out Kylo was a huge Darth Vader fan, where Rey preferred the classic Star Trek Captain Kirk. Kylo’s still brought in whores, every couple of days, each time Rey fumed, as much as she told herself she didn’t care, she did, and for that she hated herself.

 

She had lost track of how long she had been held at his house, her dreams became more and more vivid and always about him. One morning she decided to fight fire with fire. She heard him approach, the lock snapping open and the door, he heads to the table placing the plate down. He turned to wish Rey a good morning, only to find her naked, her fingers between her legs rubbing her very wet cunt.

 

She bites her bottom lip, “Morning Kylo,” she says in a coy tone.

 

Kylo stood, a look of shock, turned into a grin, there she was on full display. Her slender body laid out, her back arched as her fingers delved deeper into her wet cunt. Her moans filled the room, Kylo stepped closer, he licked his lips his fingers balling into a fist to relax along his side.

 

The moment he touched the bed, Rey hopped up from the bed and fled to the bathroom. Slamming the door shut, she smiled to herself, let him see how it feels. She could hear a chair crash into the wall, then the outside door slam shut and locked. Rey peeked into the bedroom. She frowned he took the plate.

 

He didn’t return for lunch either, Rey’s stomach growled, she knew he was petty at this point. But she won that round and wasn’t going to regret any of it. The night he came for her, not saying a word he shoved the ball gag into her mouth, sat her in the usual chair and bound her wrists and ankles, the twine was a little tighter than he usually tied it. Rey glanced at the clock on the nightstand it read 10 pm.

 

Rey glared at him, he ignored her, she heard the knock at the door, it was the first whore, he had brought in, the big tit blonde. Rey hated her most of all, Kylo brought her into the room. She noticed they both had a drink in their hands. As usual, Kylo gave Rey a quick glance; something felt different Rey could only sit and watch.

 

Kylo kissed the blonde’s neck, “I love your big tits,” he said lavishing her breast with his kisses, Rey knew he was doing this for her benefit, Rey had a small chest. She rolled her eyes, she hadn’t had anyone tell her there was something wrong with her breast.

 

“Come on Precious, let me look at that beautiful body of yours, so soft and full like a woman should be.” He continues to kiss her body. Rey felt the intended jab, in all this time he had only referred to herself as Precious. None of the whores he brought in had he referred to them as Precious; now it was this whore, he bestowed the pet name too. She watched it all. They drank as they fucked, ignoring Rey. Kylo was telling this whore how beautiful she was, how lucky he was to be able to touch her.

 

Rey tried her best not to cry, not to let his words wound her, but as the night went on, she lost the battle. Soon they were finished, walking out of the room.

 

“I’ll take you home, no need for a cab Precious.” Rey heard his deep voice.

 

“You take me home, and I’m fucking you all night, free of charge.” The blonde purred.

 

Kylo laughed, “You don’t have to offer me twice.”

 

Rey heard the door slam shut. She was left alone, still tied to the chair the ball gag in her mouth. Her muscles had started to cramp, she tried to twist her arms out of the twine, but it was tied too tightly around her wrist then to the arm of the chair. Rey looked at the clock on the nightstand it read 11:01 pm, slowly her demons came to visit her one by one.

 

The ones that told her she was useless, that no one could love her. Rey had been abandoned at a shopping mall when she was three, left on a rainy October day in a shopping cart in the rain. Mr. Plutt was her social worker as a child, a fat man that had no love for Rey when she was old enough to understand he made sure she saw her records read how she was left without a bit of concern for her wellbeing.

 

“Your own fucking parents didn’t want you, how the hell am I supposed to find some place for someone like you,” she remembered him yelling at her when she was twelve. She had been returned to the office when her last family couldn’t be bothered with her.

 

Rey sat in the chair. She had to pee. She bit hard onto the ball shoved in her mouth. She didn’t want to piss herself. She held it if she could. Her eyes glanced at the clock now 3:41 am. She lost the battle. She felt the warm liquid wet her bottom and legs. Her face wet with her tears, an old memory of being a scared seven-year-old, being held by the arm tight enough to leave bruises. As she was being screamed at by a woman that was supposed to take care of her. Instead, she back-handed Rey across the face for wetting the bed.

 

She tried to focus on something, anything to stop her mind from going there, from dredging every horrible event in her short life, all the betrayals from people she trusted, all the lonely nights she sat watching sappy movies wishing someone would love her. She felt like she was on trial and the evidence was overwhelming that she was nothing. Those were the words she heard growing up. Those were the words that stuck.

 

She heard the front door open and slammed shut, Kylo stumbled into the room, he looked disheveled without giving her a glance he fell on the bed and past out. Rey looked at the clock it was 4:04 am. She felt like a ghost waiting to be free of its body. She had felt the crack, watching him sleep on the bed he had just fucked the whore, she shattered.

 

She saw the moment his eyes opened, his bleary look around the room, till at last, they fell on her. A look of horror crossed his face, a realization he had left her all night tied to the chair. Rey might have found it funny him falling out of the bed trying to get to her. If her muscles were not locking in painful cramps and she smelled of piss.

 

“Fuck, Rey oh god I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry,” he tried to untie the rope, her eyes looking up to his, she could see a look of disbelief and shame in them. Her wrist was bloody where she had tried to work for her hands-free, and the twine dug into the soft flesh, peeling away her skin one layer at a time.

 

Kylo stood up and ran out of the room to return with a steak knife, as quickly as he could he cut her binds, tossing the knife on the floor, he releases the ball gag from her mouth. Rey cautiously moves her arms and shoulders her muscles cramped her fingers felt numb from the poor circulation. Rey rubbed her jaw slowly working the sore muscle.

 

Kylo leaned closer to her as she watched him smell it, she knew he could smell the urine. He takes her face in his big hands, “I’m sorry Precious I’m so sorry, I’ll make this right.” He turns and heads to his bathroom. She could hear the water running. He had left her alone, with the door open, she could have run out, she could have escaped.

 

But deep-down Rey knew there was no escape. She had lived with the illusion that she could be someone, that someone would care for her. That she was worthy of love, she knew now that was all a lie. Rey was tired of trying, tired of living a lie. She glanced at the clock on the nightstand it read 1:05 pm.

 

Kylo’s face was pale. He looked like he could throw up at any time, slowly he pulled her shirt off her body, then he tugged her wet shorts and panties down, lifting her into his arms like a father lifting a sleeping child to lay to rest in their bed. Kylo took her to the bathroom, gently as he could he lower her sore body into the warm water. He kept his arm around her back, to keep her head from slipping under the water. Rey exhaled, she had stayed awake the entire time she was tied to the chair, the warm water relaxed her body as it soothed her aches, soon she felt herself slowly slipping into Oblivion.

 

Rey woke sometime later in what she has come to know as her room. He had dressed her in t-shirt and sweatpants, the covers pulled up to her chin. She glanced over to see him sitting on the floor by her bed, his head down. She wasn’t sure if he was sleep or not as if he could hear her thoughts he looked up at her, he gave her a faint smile.

 

Rey turned over and closed her eyes, he could hear him shuffle and then the bed dip down. She could feel him behind her as he sat on the bed, he cleared his throat.

 

“Um, I’ve left a plate for you, so whenever you’re hungry it’s there,” he touched her shoulder. “Rey I’m really sorry, that was beyond fucked up, I swear it will never happen again.” He sounded remorseful.

 

Rey was sure he felt terrible, but she couldn’t bring herself to think he felt terrible, because of her. That he could care really, she was nothing. Once he left the room, she sat up to look at the pancakes and bacon sitting on the plate. She laid back and closed her eyes.

 

She heard him come back in. She wasn’t aware of what time it was. There was nothing in the room that could give her any indication.

 

“Rey?” she heard him call her name, gentle like he was speaking to a wild animal, afraid of spooking. “I know you must be hungry, please eat something, if you don’t want this just tell me what you want, and I’ll get it for you. Anything.” He came and squatted down by her bed, Rey closed her eyes, so she didn’t have to look at him. He lingered for a few minutes, brushing the hair from her cheek, he leaned over and kissed her cheek. “please eat something.”

 

Her stomach growled, she felt sick like she wanted to throw up, the emptiness in her stomach ached. Rey ignored it. She didn’t want to think about it, any of it she had decided that she was done, call in the dogs, piss on the fire done.

 

By the fourth day of Rey refusing to eat, Kylo was beside himself, he begged her, he threatens to go to her house, and burn it to the ground, he tried to bribe her with anything she wanted.

 

Every day he tried to get her to eat, for the last two weeks She just laid in the bed, she barely moved, when she did it was only to go to the bathroom and drink water.

 

“What the fuck is your problem, so I fucked up I shouldn’t have left you tied to the chair, I shouldn’t have brought those whores in. I’m FUCKING SORRY!!” He yelled at her. He could see how pale she was, her cheekbones more prominent then a week ago, her eyes seem to look a little more sunken in her skull.

 

“Please Rey please, stop hurting yourself, because I’m a fucking piece of shit, please baby just eat something.” Kylo knelt by her bed, tears running down his face, he held her hand as he pleads with her.

 

Kylo stood and started pacing around the room, the untouched plate of food sat on the table, he had remembered on the night they met she had talked about how much she like Frizoni spaghetti and meatballs, he had gone to the restaurant and got her an order.

 

He stopped and looked at the plate then Rey wasting away in the bed, “fuck it,” he said, picking up the plate, he sat it on the chair that was placed next to the bed where he has occupied countless hours trying to reason with Rey.

 

He pulled her up into a sitting position. He felt sick to his stomach at how much weight she had lost. He slipped in behind her, pulling her body up, so now she is sitting between his legs against his chest. Kylo took a meatball and forced it into Rey’s mouth. “Eat it god damn it!” he growled in her ear, he cupped her mouth so that she couldn’t push the food out. 

 

“chew Rey!” he demanded, she was making a little gasping sound, he pulled her back to look at her face.

 

He realized she was choking on the meatball, Kylo lifted her up and pulled her off the bed. Quickly he administered the Heimlich maneuver. The meatball shot out of her mouth. Rey gasped for air, Kylo held her in his crushing hold.

 

He sat on the edge of the bed with Rey in his lap, his brown eyes wet with tears. His head buried in the crook of her neck, she could hear him murmur into her hair, “I’m sorry Rey, I don’t want to lose you, please don’t leave me.”

 

Rey looked at his face, how tired he looked the dark circles under his eyes, his deep brown eyes shone with regret and heartbreak. She recognized the lonely soul that lived there, one that was full of pain, one that knew what it was like to be left alone to rot.

 

“I’m going to take you to the hospital Rey,” he said placing a kiss on her cheek, “You’re going to be ok baby, my Precious Rey.” He sobbed saying her name.

 

Rey knew he was giving her freedom, to lose his. He cradled her against his chest. She felt safe, her head resting against his body she could hear his heartbeat. Looking up into his eyes, she smiled and touched his cheek.

 

“Soup, I’d like tomato soup.”


	2. Chapter 2

Kylo carried her into the kitchen, gently sitting her on one of the stools at the counter. He headed straight for the pantry.

 

“Tomato soup,” his mind going ten thousand different directions at once, relieved that she was willing to eat, relieved that he didn’t have to take her to the hospital, that he may end up being able to keep her after all.

 

Every can in the pantry he picked up was something else. What the fuck did he not have tomato soup? Not even one fucking can?

 

Kylo panicked, “Um Precious, I don’t have tomato soup,” pulling out a dusty can of chicken and stars soup he looked hopefully at her.

 

Rey just sat leaning against the counter with a vacant look in her eyes. Kylo stepped closer, “Precious?”

 

Rey’s eyes looked up to his, “Don’t call me Precious,” she sat up a little straighter, a look of pain in her eyes “I am not one of your whores, don’t ever call me that again.”

 

Kylo took a step back at the coldness in her voice, “No, of course not, I’m sorry Rey.” He knew he had fucked up in every sense of the word that night. He had to face the music, own up to his mistakes, “Is chicken soup, ok?” He asked quietly, taking a step closer, showing her the can.

 

Rey glanced at the can and back to Kylo, she nodded. For the first time in the bright light of the kitchen, he got a good look at the color of her eyes, all this time he thought they had been a muddy brown, now he could see the green that circled the irises of her eyes.

 

He nodded in returned, hurriedly he opened the can and poured the contents into a ceramic bowl, he waited a minute for the soup to heat up. He stood watching Rey, afraid that any moment she would disappear. The bell of the microwave caused him to jerk back to reality.

 

The bowl was warm. He dipped his pinkie in to check if it would be too hot to eat. Satisfied with the temperature, he stirs it with a spoon, before sitting it in front of Rey. She glanced up and back at the soup, for a moment he worried she had changed her mind. Rey picked up the spoon her hand shook slightly. Her shoulders slumped she dipped the spoon in and brought it to her mouth.

 

He stood with his hands gripping the counter, watching this young woman handle the spoon like she was 80 years old, it shook him to his core. She was spilling most of it back in the bowl; he bit his lip at this rate she was going to starve to death. Rey closed her eyes; she looked like she had fallen asleep, slowly she was leaning forward. Kylo quickly moved around the counter, his large hands on her shoulders pulling her back.

 

“Sorry,” Rey looked up at him, her eyes had a glassy appearance.

 

“You have nothing to apologize for Prec… Rey,” His hand on her back, he could feel each of her vertebrae. He clenched his teeth. He caused this, him and him alone. She shivered, Kylo moved his hands on her shoulders lightly running them up and down her arms.

 

“Are you cold?” he asked, looking down, watching Rey attempt another spoonful of soup.

 

“A little,” she looked up at him, her eyes color a deeper green now.

 

Kylo lifted her from the stool, Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, allowing him to carry her to the living room. He sat her on the love seat. He ran to his room and returned with a blanket. Carefully he tucked it around her, before returning to the kitchen for her bowl of soup.

 

“do you want to watch something?” he motioned to the tv set.

 

Rey shrugged, he reached out and grabbed the remote, turning the tv on, it was already on the animal planet, so he left it there. Sitting next to Rey, he held the bowl under her chin and offered her a spoonful of soup. Rey looked at the spoon then Kylo.

 

He blushed, “You looked a little worn out, is it ok if I feed you?”

 

Rey opened her mouth, allowing him to feed her the soup. Kylo smiled, scooping another spoonful he held it to her mouth again, her eyes looked at the spoon then him; still, she opened her mouth. Kylo went to dip the spoon back, when Rey pushed the blanket down, her eyes watching his she climbed into his lap and laid her head on his chest. Kylo held his arms out, so as not to spill the soup, the spoon held in his other hand.

 

Rey reached out and pulled the blanket over herself and Kylo, she glanced up at his face then looked at the spoon. He wrapped his arm around her with the bowl in his hand. She sat, allowing him to feed her the lukewarm soup.

 

“No one ever held me and fed me, as a child.” She said it like it was a shameful confession.

 

Kylo Kissed her head, “I’m sorry, Sweetheart, every child should be held and loved.” His mother used to hug him all the time as a small child. He remembered her warm embrace. That was before everything changed, before the voices, the fights between his parents he witnessed as a child. Before they discarded him, making him someone else’s problem.

 

“I’ll hold you as long as you like,” he kissed her head again, offering her another spoonful of soup. Rey yawned but ate the soup; soon the bowl was empty, he set it down on the table next to the loveseat.

 

Rey had fallen asleep; he sat stroking her hair, she had consumed 70 calories, which was not enough. Tomorrow he would go to the store and get the tomato soup and anything else high in calories.

 

He glanced down at her sleepy face, even with the dark circles under the eyes, the thin, pale look she was beautiful. He smiled, thinking he had almost not gone in the bar that night. 

 

She had been sitting at the end of the bar, her hair hung in long curls down her shoulders. He sat for a few minutes waiting to see if anyone joined the Angel at the end of the bar. To his surprise and delight, it seemed she was here alone. He would rectify that, taking his drink he headed towards her, Rey glanced up at him as he neared. He smiled, and she smiled back.

 

“Would you mind some company?” he asked, looking at the stool next to her.

 

“Sure,” she smiled, holding her hand out, “Rey.”

 

He rewarded her with his best grin, “Kylo.” He took her hand into his large hand. Her skin felt soft under his callus fingertips.

 

“I’m kind of new to the area, have you lived here long?” he asked her, watching her lips move while he sipped his whiskey, allowing his eyes to take her in.

 

Rey smiled, “I’ve been here for a couple of years.”

 

“So, you’d know where all the good restaurants are?” He leaned a little closer like she was going to share a secret with him.

 

“Well, to be honest, I don’t eat out a lot, but Frizoni has the best spaghetti and meatballs, they are only a couple blocks east of here.” She smiled.

 

“Really?” he sat back and smiled, “Have you eaten yet?” he said hopefully.

 

Rey looked down her cheeks a darker shade of pink, “Actually I have already, I was on a date earlier.”

 

Kylo sat back and looked around with a confused look on his face, “Did his Mother just die?” he asked with all seriousness.

 

Rey spit out her drink, covering her mouth, “Oh God, no!” she laughed.

 

“Sorry, I don’t understand. You are a gorgeous woman. What kind of moron would let you out of their sight?” Kylo said, staring at her, with a smile on his lips.

 

She blushed even more profound, “It just wasn’t working out, “Rey said looking down at her drink on the counter, “he had been texting his ex the whole time we were at dinner. I guess I wasn’t what he was looking for.” She said shyly with a hint of a hurt tone in her voice.

 

He reached over, lifting her chin with his long finger, their eyes locked “I hope this isn’t too forward, but you are exactly what I’m looking for.”

 

He was thrilled when she agreed to come back to his place, that night had been magical. They made love. Their bodies were made for one another.

 

He looked down at Rey now asleep in his lap, he hugged Rey a little tighter, her breath coming out steady, she wiggled a little in his lap falling into a more comfortable position.

 

He could feel himself getting a little hard, thinking about that night again, her tan skin felt so soft and pliable under his touch how her moans fueled their lust for one another. They were made for one another, he knew it from the moment he took her, the moment he made her scream out in pleasure.

 

He was shocked after they both laid breathless, that she got up and started to get dress.

 

“You’re leaving?” he asked a little hurt.

 

Rey looked back, “Yea, I have work in the morning,” She leaned over the bed and kissed his lips. “you were amazing, I’ve never come so hard in all my life.” She smiled, slipping the dress up her legs and slipping her armed through the sleeves.

 

Kylo got up and pulled up his boxers, watching her dress to leave him, everyone leaves him.

 

“You can stay here tonight; I’ll get you home in the morning in time for you to get dress, I’ll drive you to work if you like. I’m kind of between jobs now so that it wouldn’t be a problem.” He walked over to her running his hands over her shoulders, smiling down at his beautiful Rey, his Precious Rey.

 

Rey smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed her lips to his, greedily he accepted her kiss, their tongues danced in and out of his mouth.

 

“Maybe another time, I’d like to see you again. If that is ok with you?” Rey asked a hopeful look in her eyes.

 

Kylo nodded and smiled, “I’d like that, a lot.”

 

Rey turned to grab her purse, Kylo slipped his muscular bicep around her throat and applied pressure it only took four seconds to choke her out, Rey’s body went slack. He knew it was wrong, that he should have let her go home. But he couldn’t let her go. He knew once she woke up and had a chance to listen to reason, she would know he made the right decision.

 

He had bought the house less than a month before after he left the First Order he had to get away. He needed time to get his shit to straighten out. The house had come with a finished basement with a full bath.  
Years of living his life in the dark figuratively and literally, he couldn’t sleep unless it was in complete darkness, and soundproof. He had built his room in the basement, just four walls and a door leading out. It was plain on the inside, he had painted the walls a medium grey, with a dark grey carpet. He only had a bed in the room. He hadn’t gotten around to putting anything else down there.

 

Gently he carried her limp body down the stairs, laying her on the bed, he pulled back the covers and tucked her in. Looking around the room, he knew she would need a table and a couple of chairs for when they shared their meals. As he walked out of the room, he decided he should put a lock on the outside. Something told him she was a fighter, so it would take a little time for her to come to her senses, in the meantime, he would get the lock in place.

 

Kylo’s legs started to get stiff; she didn’t weigh much but sitting still for so long was beginning to cause his legs to cramp. He moved his legs happy to be able to stretch it out without disturbing her. Looking at his outstretched foot, the image of Rey tied to the chair knocked the breath out of him. Guilt, the look in her eyes that afternoon would never leave him. He knew that look all too well, the look of a broken soul. This time he was the monster, it was his cruelty, now it was his responsibility to fix it, to fix her.

 

He felt guilty for even moving his leg knowing that she had not been given that opportunity, all because he was angry with her. Because she had teased him with what he wanted most, her love her affections, and when he tried to approach her, to show his appreciation, she ran and hid from him. He couldn’t understand her. He thought they have been getting along so well; he enjoyed every second he spent with her. He was hurt to believe she didn’t reciprocate his feelings.

 

He leaned his face against the top of her head; her hair was a little oily, he wondered how long it had been since she had washed it, or herself? He would help her tomorrow; tonight, he had to get her to bed, she needed her rest.

 

Kylo carried her to the bedroom in the basement, gently laying her in the bed, when his weight shifted off the bed, he heard her soft voice.

 

“Kylo?” she said her eyes closed, her fingers grabbing hold of his shirt.

 

“I’m here, Sweetheart,” he sat on the bed, stroking her hair. He pulled the covers up to her chin,

 

“Stay with me,” she whispered, her eyes still shut, her request sounded more like a plead.

 

“of course, Sweetheart,” he said, toeing off his shoes, lying next to Rey his body close to the edge of the small bed. His hand resting on her hip, he remembered the curve of her body the fullness of her hip, her body was muscular, but now all he felt was how her hip bone protrudes.

 

He would fix this. He would make her healthy and happy. He would give her everything he didn’t have; he would never leave her; he would give her his love.

 

He laid there watching her sleep; he couldn’t help the smile thinking about the first morning she woke up. God, what a hellcat, she had yelled and screamed and threatened to kick his ass. She was adorable. He couldn’t have picked a perfect woman if he tried. 

 

He had tried to talk to her calmly, but she was resisted to the idea they belonged together. He could barely get a word in; each time he tried to plead his case, she would go off on him. He was left with no other choice but to use the ball gag, and of course, he had to tie her hands or else she would have taken the damn thing off. He had decided to tie her ankles after she had kicked him in the nuts. It had taken him a couple of days to get over that one.

 

He would plead his case, and when he took the ball gag out, she would call him every name she could think.

 

“Precious, please listen to reason. We were meant to be together.” He said squatting down, looking into her beautiful eyes. He reached behind her head to remove the ball gag.

 

“Fuck you,” she screams, “you are fucking insane if you think I’m going to stay with you?” she refused to look him in the eyes.

 

Kylo ran a finger down her cheek, “That first night, tell me you didn’t feel it. How perfect we were together.”

 

“I’m not giving you anything,” she spits out, “you’ll have to rape me before I touch you again.”

 

“Rape?!?” Kylo stood up looking down at Rey with disgust, “Is that what you think of me?” he sounded wounded. “I’ve never laid a finger on you, that you didn’t willing accept.”

 

“And you think kidnapping me is going to make me want to fuck you?” she snarled at him.

 

Kylo shook his head, “If I was just looking for someone to fuck, I could get a whore to do it with less trouble.” He snapped back.

 

“So, get a whore!” she screamed at him, “you don’t need me to fuck you.”

 

Kylo dropped to his knees, “I want your affections, Precious, not just your body. I need you to understand that we belong together.”

 

“Well, don’t hold your breath because you’re not getting either.” She retorted.

 

Kylo knew she would need some persuasion, something to make her see that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

 

He decided that if he could make her jealous, she would realize that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

 

He dragged the chair out of her room into the guest bedroom he was using as his since Rey was sleeping in his bed. He sat on the bed in the guestroom; he remembered a fight his Mom and Dad had. She had caught him cheating. She was angry and hurt. They swore at each other, threatened divorce, but in the end, they had come to realize at the time they loved each other. His mother was promising Han that she would ruin him for all other women.

 

That first night, he was nervous, like nervous. Rey was tied to the chair, the ball gag in her mouth. The escort services sent over a blonde with big tits, she was enough, but glancing at Rey, she couldn’t hold a candle to his Precious.

 

He had thought about It all day; he had decided what he would tell this hooker, so she wouldn’t call the police to say to them, he had Rey tied to a chair.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m kind of nervous about this. My girlfriend has this fantasy.” He paused and swallowed he felt like he lumped his throat. “She likes to be bounded and gagged. Usually, it’s just us, but it’s her birthday, and she wanted something extra, she wants me to fuck someone while she watches.” He exhaled doing his best to keep his nervousness under wraps “I’m sorry, I’ve never done this before, and I love her so much.” He told her, hoping she was buying the story.

 

“Honey it’s ok, I completely understand, I think it’s so sweet of you to do this for her, I can see how nervous you are, but don’t worry I’ll make sure it’s special for everyone.” The hooker smiled, telling him.  
“Thank you,” he sighs, “one last thing, I’ll give you a generous tip, if you can act like she isn’t in the room, don’t even look in her direction?” He wasn’t sure if anyone had reported Rey missing, and didn’t want the hooker to say she saw her tied up in his house.

 

“Sure, honey, we can do that,” she smiled at him.

 

The thought of touching this woman bothered him, but he needed Rey to be jealous, for her to see that he was desirable. He wanted her to appreciate what they had together.

 

He glanced over to Rey during the whole time he was with the hooker. He could see she had closed her eyes. He tried to be as loud as possible without it coming off as an act. When he was done, he paid the hooker and went back to see how Rey took the whole affair.

 

He released the ball gag from her mouth, watching as she worked the cramp out of her jaw, he was mesmerized by her pink lips.

 

“Did you enjoy the show, Precious? Kylo asks he couldn’t help, running the tip of his finger along her cheek and jawline.

 

“I was bored if you must know the truth,” Rey retorted, the look in her eye seemed to give her away.

 

Kylo stood for a moment, slipping his hand between her thighs, down the front of the shorts she is wearing, his finger comes back glistening with her wetness.

 

“mm, something tells me, that you were not that bored.” He smiled at her, the thought that she had been turned on, wet because of him made him joyous.

 

“Fuck you,” Rey spits out.

 

“Aww Precious, I’m spent for now, maybe next time.” He couldn’t let her know, not yet that this was all for her, she had to come to him willingly.

 

Kylo woke up, Rey’s back to his chest, his arms around her thin waist. She was still in a deep sleep, he slipped his arm out from around her, slowly moving back so he could get up.

 

Rey made a whimpering sound; he tucked the blanket around her lean body. He needed to see what he could make her for breakfast, he stood looking down at her, if he could get her to eat pancakes with lots of syrup that would be a good deal of calories.

 

He left her sleeping, not bothering to lock the door any longer; he knew she wouldn’t go. He worked quickly, not wanting to leave her alone for too long. Not sure how much she would be able to tolerate, so he made her four-dollar size pancakes, he loaded them with butter and syrup. He grabbed some orange juice from the fridge and headed downstairs.

 

Rey was still asleep, she made little whimpering sounds, her eyes moving quickly behind their lids. He sat the plate and juice on the table and sat on the edge of the bed, watching her sleep. Her brows were pulled in a frown, the corners of her eyes wet. He brushed the hair from her face, his large thumb wiping the tear away.

 

He leaned down closer to her ear, not wishing to scare her, “Sweetheart, wake up it’s time for breakfast.” She recoiled, he pulled his hand from her face, a pain straight to his heart.

 

“Rey,” he spoke her name a little louder, her lips parted, slowly she opened her eyes. She blinked and rubbed her eyes; they lacked focus.

 

“Sweetheart, I brought you breakfast,” he shifted a little closer to her, cupping her jaw his thumb running across her cheek, “Do you think you can eat something for me today?” he asks his voice tender.

 

She looked up at him, her eyes a deeper brown with specks of green. She licked her lips, “I…” she yawned, “I can try.”

 

Kylo smiled, “that’s my girl.” He helped her into a sitting position; he props the pillows behind her back.

 

Sitting on the bed with her the plate set in his lap, he handed her the glass of juice, giving her a moment to take a sip. She held the glass, licking the sweetness from her lips, then drank more before handing it back to him. He cuts her a small piece of pancake, making sure it had the butter and lots of syrup.

 

“If it’s too much let me know and I’ll make you something else,” he smiled at her, she nodded.

 

He held the plate under the fork as he brought it to her lips, she opened her mouth and took the bite. He sat back, watching her face, for any signs she was tolerating the food. She chewed for what felt like hours; he watched her swallow. Then she smiled at him; he smiled back, cutting another bite, offering her the pancake dripping with syrup, Rey opened her mouth and took the piece, slowly chewing.

 

She made a face, quickly bringing her hand to her mouth, Kylo set the plate down to grab the juice when the little food and juice she took in all came out. Her hand covering her mouth, the ingested food covered her hand and chest. The look of horror on Rey’s face broke his heart; it was the look of a child expecting punishment.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, tears slowly rolling down her face.

 

Kylo shook his head, “Shh, there is nothing to apologize for Sweetheart.”

 

He sat up and pulled the dirty blanket and sheet from her bed; he took a moment to go to the bathroom to grab a towel and wet washcloth. Removing the t-shirt from her body, he handed her the towel to cover herself. He tried not to focus on her ribs the way her skin hung from her bones with the sudden weight loss.

 

He wiped the bile from her chin and chest, with a wet washcloth.

 

“Rey, I want to give you a bath,” He held her chin in his large hand, wiping the tears away. “can I bathe you?” He spoke with tenderness.

 

Rey looked into his eyes. Her eyes had a dullness to them. She nodded, allowing him to carry her from the bed to the guest bedroom upstairs. Kylo hated he had to bring her back to this room. The scene of his crimes against her, his cruelty, the guilt ripped his guts out. But this bathroom had the only tub. He knew he couldn’t properly wash her in a shower.

 

He sat her on the bed, the chair that she had been bound and gag too laid in pieces outside. That day he woke from his drunken stupor to find he left her tied there, he took it out and bashed it against the brick wall of his house till it was nothing more than fragments.

 

He ran Rey a warm bath, her loss of body fat meant she would be affected by extreme temperatures. His time with Snoke, he learned firsthand how the lack of body fat, amplified the heat, cold, the pressure of touch that once was pleasing could be torturous.

 

He returned to her sitting on the bed, he helped her out of the sweatpants and carried her nude body to the bathtub.

 

“Tell me if it feels too hot or cold.” He leaned down to the water, to let her dip her fingertips in.

 

“It feels ok,” her voice sounded a little raspy.

 

He lowered her into the water; he had set Rey down, facing away from the shower head. He reached up and pulled the extended shower head down, making sure the temperature was warm enough, he went about wetting her hair and body.

 

He took his time shampooing her hair, how much he had wanted to do this from the first time she woke up in his house. To lavish her with his affection, to care for her, to make her feel like the Queen she was.

 

She sat in the tub, her knobby knees pulled up under her chin, letting him wash her hair. He bit his lip, looking down at her ribcage, fucking monster, I did this too her. He loathes himself; he had let his hurt from her rejection cloud his judgment. He felt like they had become more, they enjoyed each other’s company while she ate, he was confused why she felt like she had to tease him, show him what he wanted most and then take it away?

 

He knew he was hurting her that night, he saw her tears, as he fucked the whore. He had drunk an entire bottle of whiskey and continue when the hooker showed up. He had lost focus on what he was trying to do; at that point, all he wanted to do was punish her.

 

All his life he had been rejected, first his family, then those he considered his brothers in arms. Snoke, the man who had been a father to him, who had told him he was wanted, taught him how to use his pain and suffering as a sharp tool to complete his mission. In the end, they all betrayed him, rejected him.

 

He rinsed the conditioner from her hair, using the washcloth he washed her back, arms and hand. He let Rey wash the rest of her body. He helped her from the tub, as gently as possible he dried her off and wrapped her into a large towel. She stood, her knees slightly bent, she was unsteady on her feet.

 

He pulled a large shirt over her head and picked her up, letting her head rest on his chest. He sets her down on the loveseat, covering her with the blanket. He knelt in front of her, drying her hair, “We are going to get you all fixed up, Sweetheart.” He said his eyes wet, “then when you’re well enough, I’m going to take you on a trip, anywhere in the world you want to go, we'll go.” He smiled down at her.

 

Rey looked up, she reached up touching his face, her fingertip brushing the tears from his face. She smiled up at him, “I’d like that.”

 

He sat with her until she fell asleep. He felt his heart pounding in his chest. His mouth felt dry. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. He left her to get dressed, fix this Solo, you’ve got to fix this. He kept telling himself over and over.

 

Kylo walked into the emergency room with an unconscious Rey in his arms. He passed everyone in front of him; a young woman looked up in surprise at the large man holding the woman in his arms.  
It all moved like in a dream, the nurses ran to him, having him place Rey on a gurney, another nurse taking as much information that Kylo would give her.

 

“Her name is Rey Kenobi. She stopped eating.” He told the nurse his eyes following Rey as they took her away.

 

Kylo sat in the waiting room for hours, with his massive form slumped over, his elbows on his knees, his head hung down. He wasn’t surprised when an Officer asked him to stand and put his hands behind his back.

 

Rey woke to the sounds of a steady beep, the room was dim, but she could see out the window. A full moon was lighting her hospital room. She sat up looking around; a nurse came to check on her.

 

The older woman approached Rey a smile on her face, a look of concern and pity. She patted her arm, “It’s ok sweetie, you’re safe now.”

 

Rey looked at the older woman, “where’s Kylo? Can I see him?”


	3. Chapter 3

Rey woke when the nurse walked in to change her saline bag; two men were talking to the doctor in the hall. She didn’t see a uniform, but from the way the one man spoke, she was sure he was a cop.

 

She closed her eyes again, someone cleared their throat, “Ms. Kenobi” he had a pleasant voice, not like Kylo's deep soothing voice, Rey opened her eyes. He had brown wavy hair, not like Kylo’s long dark hair, he was also a lot shorter than Kylo.

 

“Ms. Kenobi, I’m Detective Dameron, I’d like to ask you a few questions if I may.” He waited for Rey to open her eyes. Dameron’s partner stood quietly in the back.

 

Rey shifted and opened her eyes to look at the Detective, “Ok.” Rey replied she didn’t feel like getting into long, drawn-out discussions.

 

“What do you know about Ben Solo?” He asked, his pen in hand, waiting to take notes.

 

Rey looked confused, “who?”

 

Detective Dameron, looked at Rey, “The man that brought you into the hospital. We have him in custody.”

 

Rey’s eyes hardened towards the Detective, “Why do you have him in custody?”

 

Poe looked back at Mitaka like he misheard her, “for kidnapping,”

 

“He brought me to the hospital for something I’ve done to myself, and you arrested him? How does that make sense?” Rey retorted.

 

“Ms. Kenobi you were reported missing 43 days ago, by a Finn Johnson. He is a friend of yours correct?” Poe replied.

 

“Finn is, but that doesn’t mean I have to tell my friends where I am at all times.” Rey crossed her arms and turned to stare out the window.

 

Poe pulled a chair up to Rey’s bedside and sat down so he would be more eye level with Rey. “Rey, may I call you Rey?” he asked, “This man is dangerous, I need your help to keep him off the streets, so he will not have a chance to do this to another helpless girl, what he did to you.” Poe tried to reason with Rey.

 

Rey shook her head, “I’m done. Please leave.”

 

Poe let out a long breath, “Please reconsider if you don’t file charges he is going to be free to hurt another...”

 

“Detective, that is enough. I must ask you to leave Ms. Kenobi’s room.” The doctor stood at the door, her hand resting on the door frame.

 

Poe stood up and pushed the chair back with his foot, “If you change your mind, Ms. Kenobi, just give me a call.” He left his card on the table next to her bed. “Let’s go,” he spoke to his partner.

 

Rey turned to watch the men leave, the doctor stood at the door for a minute, before walking to Rey’s bed.

 

“Hello Rey, my name is Dr. Ahsoka Tano.” She held her hand out for Rey to shake. She pulled the chair up next to Rey’s bed and took a seat.

 

Rey wasn’t sure yet if she liked the older woman, she wasn’t in a trusting mood.

 

“What type of doctor are you?”

 

“I’m a psychiatrist; I specialize in people who have suffered traumatic events in their lives.” Ahsoka sat back studying Rey’s facial tics and body language, to gauge her willingness to talk.

 

“I’m sorry Dr. Tano, but I believe there has been a misunderstanding, I don’t need a psychiatrist, but thank you for stopping by,” Rey spoke quietly before turning her back to Ahsoka laying in her bed.

 

Ahsoka smiled, “Well, Rey, anytime you feel like you want to talk to me, I’m here.” She laid her hand on Rey’s shoulder. Rey nodded but didn’t turn to look at Ahsoka.  
Rey laid staring out the window, feeling the weight of the empty room, and her loneliness.

 

“Hey Poe, I’ve got a lawyer asking about your guy Solo,’ the desk sergeant called back.

 

Poe leaned back in his chair to catch a glimpse of a tall, thin red-head man, dressed in what Poe figured to be a thousand-dollar suit. “fuck,” he muttered to himself, he stood and walked to the front desk, as he eyed the lawyer.

 

“I didn’t know Solo had called for a lawyer,” Poe addressed the man, “I’m Detective Dameron.”

 

“Hux,” he said, with a dry English accent, he kept his hands folded in front of him. “I represent the Solo family. What charges is Mr. Solo being held on?”

 

“He is only here for questioning,” Poe replied

 

“Good then you won’t mind running along and bringing him out,” Hux says, looking at his watch.

 

Poe stood staring at Hux, as he had just stepped in something, “You know the only reason his ass isn’t locked up tighter than a nun’s cunt, is because that poor girl he kept captive won’t press charges.”

 

“Well, I’m sure if the girl in question is unwilling to press charges, then there doesn’t seem to be a reason to keep my client waiting.” Hux sneered back, annoyed the detective was wasting his time.

 

Poe Twist around and shouted to the officer behind him, “Cut Solo loose, his Lawyer is here.”

 

Ben walked from the back of the police station, his long dark hair hanging in his face, his eyes tired. His demeanor that of a beaten man. Ben looked up and frowned, seeing Hux standing at the front desk. Without a word, he walked past Hux and Poe.

 

“Don’t leave the area, Solo,” Poe called after him.

 

Ben kept walking, not acknowledging the detective had spoken. Hux followed behind Ben, once they were downstairs on the street, Hux grabbed Ben’s arm.

 

“Your Mother wants to talk to you.”

 

Ben looked down at Hux’s hand on his arm, his voice low and dangerous “get your fucking hand off me, Hux.”

 

Hux let go of Ben, step back motioning to the limousine parked at the curb, the windows too dark to see inside. Ben exhaled and walked to the limo; he climbed into the back to face his Mother.

 

Leia sat, a look of concern on her face, a pinch between her brows let Ben know she was not in a mood to beat around the bush.

 

“Are you eating? You look thinner?” Leia asked, shaking her head looking at her son.

 

Ben couldn’t help the humorless laugh at Leia’s question given the situation.

 

Leia look of concern quickly turned dark, “Do you find this all amusing Ben?”

 

Ben stopped and returned her dark stare, “there is nothing funny about any of this; what do you want to Mother?”

 

“I want you to see a doctor,” Right to the point, Ben looked at his Mother, never surprised at her willingness to say what she wanted, devil be damned.

 

“No,” He said, reaching for the door handle.

 

“I have a proposition for you, Ben, as long as you see Dr. Yoda, I will pay all the girls’ medical expenses, as long as you are in therapy, I will pay for her therapy.” Leia sat back, with her hands folded over her lap, her eyes never leaving his face.

 

Ben sighed, “I’ll pay her fucking medical bills and anything else she needs.”  
Leia sat forward, “do you think that is a good idea, Son? She almost starved herself to death; I don’t know what happened between you too. But you cannot go near that girl.” Leia’s voice was gentle, she reached out and took his hand in hers, “if you care for this girl, you have to keep your distance. You have to let her heal; maybe she will decide to come to you.”

 

Ben sat back in the seat, running his hand over his face. “Alright, I’ll go,” his eyes looked wet from unshed tears.

 

“You’ll take care of her?” he looked at his Mother.

 

Leia patted his knee, “I’ll make sure she has access to the best doctors.”

 

 

Finn showed up, carrying a large bag, Rey smiled happy to see her friend, she held her arms out to him. Finn hugged her tightly; he didn’t smell like Kylo, Rey pushed that thought down.

 

“I was so worried, Rey. I don’t know what happened when you didn’t show up for movie night Saturday and didn’t answer your phone I knew something was wrong.” He sat on her bed, unwilling to let her go.

 

“I’m sorry,” Rey whispered, fighting to keep the tears from falling, and failing miserably. She smiled to see Finn’s wet cheeks. He brushed his hand over his eyes, wiping the tears away.

 

“I brought you something; He pulled out a small stuffed white fox. Rey smiled, taking and hugging the stuffed animal. A box of sweet tarts, Rey laughed taking the candy.

 

“And because I know how awful hospital food is, I stopped by Frizoni and got you an order of spaghetti and meatballs” Finn grinned the white of his teeth shown between his full lips.

 

Rey felt like she had just been hit with a sledgehammer to her chest. Finn set the warm box in her lap, Rey’s hand trembled as she took hold of the box. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

 

“Rey?” Finn now noticing Rey’s reaction, “Rey, what’s the matter?” He took the box out of her lap, setting it on the table next to her bed; he took her hand.

 

“Rey, please talk to me,” Finn’s voice high and reaching a level of panic.

 

Rey looked up into Finn’s big brown eyes, “I can’t,” she whispered, she shook her head, “I just want to rest, I’m sorry Finn.” She closed her eyes wet with tears. “I just need time to rest.” She whispered, rolling to her side.

 

Finn stood shocked, unsure how to help his friend, “Ok Peanut; you get some rest,” he rubbed her shoulder. “I’ll come back later.” He leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

 

Rey dreamt of wandering in a forest; she could hear the city, cars, people, life, the longer she walked, the quieter it became, till the only sound was that of her heartbeat. Rey stood turning a full 360 degrees, realizing she was lost.

 

Rey heard her heartbeat pound faster and louder. The quicker she ran, the faster the heartbeat, she was alone, in the dark and silent forest. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words were lost in her throat, she fell to her knees on a bed of fallen decaying leaves. The weight of her loneliness is slowly crushing her.

 

She let the darkness take her, giving in to her despair, she shut her eyes for what she felt would be an eternity. She felt his arms wrap around her body, lifting her from her grave. She opened her eyes to find his dark eyes, his lips on her, breathing life back into her body. She smiled his name on her lips, Kylo.

 

Rey had gained weight. Her therapy was going well; her final requirement before going home was Dr. Tano’s evaluation. Her admission of not eating didn’t warrant a Baker Act. But she had to be evaluated before she would be discharged.

 

Rey sat in Ahsoka’s office. She was taken with a picture that hung in her office. A forest scene painted with dark greens, browns, and blacks, with a streak of bright yellow paint like a ray of light that beamed through the darkness lighting a path.

 

“How are you feeling today?” Ahsoka asked, a warm smile on her face.

 

Rey’s eyes left the picture to look at Ahsoka, “fine.” Rey looked up at the picture again. The dream was fresh on her mind.

 

“It’s a beautiful picture, a friend of mine painted it for me years ago.”

 

Rey nodded. She lowered her eyes to her hands in her lap. “do you think I’m crazy?”

 

Ahsoka frown, “No, I think you’re hurting.”

 

Rey sat quietly for a minute, “I’m better now, I’ve gained eleven pounds since I’ve been here.”

 

“That’s wonderful Rey, but that isn’t the type of pain I’m talking about. The starvation is just a symptom of the real problem.” Ahsoka, sat quietly for a moment, “sometimes we do things, so we won’t have to deal with the real problem.”

 

Rey sat quiet her arms folded across her chest, Rey was closed off. Ahsoka needed to get Rey talking. “tell me about Ben Solo,” her tone calm and peaceful.

 

“I don’t know a Ben Solo,” Rey replied she licked her lips, her eyes cast down.

 

“What name do you know him by?”

 

“Kylo,” her eyes lifted to the painting once more.

 

“what is he like?”

 

Rey shrugged, “tall, handsome, I don’t know. What is it you want to know? Did he beat me? Rape me? What is it you’re looking for?” Rey looked at Ahsoka, her eyes dark, lonely.  
“What I’d like to know is how you feel when you think about him?” Ahsoka sat watching Rey intently.

 

“I don’t know. He tried to help me to get me to eat. He was sweet to me.” Rey frowned, “he could be an asshole as well.”

 

“Asshole? Like how?”

 

“You know like how guys are assholes.” Rey retorted, starting to feel frustrated. She looked at the painting then Ahsoka, “You’re not allowed to share anything we talk about, right?”

 

“patient confidentiality, anything you say to me is kept between just You and I,” Ahsoka assured Rey.

 

“I think I’m in love with him,” Rey said quietly, she glanced up at Ahsoka, “You think I’m crazy?”

 

“Rey, you are not crazy; it doesn’t matter what I think. Or anyone else for that matter, the only person’s opinion that matters are your own.” Ahsoka smiled at Rey. “I would like us to continue talking, even after you are discharged.”

 

Rey shook her head, “I don’t think I can afford you.”

 

“Your medical bills have been taken care of, and my services have been paid for as well.” Ahsoka watched Rey’s reaction.

 

Rey looked bewildered, “do you know who paid for everything?”

 

Ahsoka gave Rey a small smile, “Skywalker Foundation.”

 

Rey sat back, unfolded her arms, straightening the wrinkles in her pants, “Ok, I guess a couple of sessions couldn’t hurt.”

 

Ahsoka smiled broaden, “I’m glad Tallie will set up your next appointment.” She stood up to show Rey to the waiting room. “Tallie please set Rey up with another appointment.”  
Rey smiled at Ahsoka, “thank you.”

 

 

Ben stood outside Dr. Yoda’s office. He didn’t want to do this; he hated the idea of talking to any more doctors. It always ended the same. He had mother issues. Like he didn’t already fucking know that.

 

But if he didn’t go in, then Leia would pull Rey’s financial support for her therapy. He already did so much damage. He couldn’t bear the thought of him being the cause of her suffering.

 

Ben checked his watch, 3:30 pm he pushed the door open and walked inside. The waiting room was small. A middle-aged woman sat at the desk typing away at her computer. She glanced up hearing Ben enter.

 

“Mr. Solo?”

 

“Yes.”

 

She smiled,” you may go to Dr. Yoda is waiting for you.”

 

Ben nodded and walked in, he glanced around the office, not much, a wall of bookshelves and a couple of large chairs. Sitting in one was Dr. Yoda, a small man of Asian descent from what Ben can gather.

 

Dr. Yoda stood, using a cane he walked over and shook Ben’s hand. Ben couldn’t help watching the older man; he was short, shorter than Leia by at least a foot. Ben towered over the shorter man; most people felt intimidated by his looming presence. Yoda smiled unaffected by Ben's height, offered him a seat.

 

“How are you doing Ben?” Yoda asked, a smile on his lips.

 

“Ok,” Ben couldn’t help glancing around. He didn’t want to look at Dr. Yoda. He hated being watched but knew this would be the case; it was always the case when it came to head doctors.

 

“Difficult, I know this is for you young Ben, but to help you, we must find the source of the troubles,” Yoda spoke in a calm voice.

 

“Why? So, you can report back to my Mother, that I’m a total fuck up? Save your time she already knows.” Ben stood moving to the door.

 

“Just a moment Young Ben,” Yoda spoke louder, “anything we speak about is kept between You and I. Payment does not pay for information.”

 

Ben turned to look at Yoda; he released a long sigh. Yoda sat, waiting for Ben to sit again.

 

“You only have to talk about what you want to talk about,” Yoda assured Ben. “Conflict, yes, I see it in you. Tell me about the girl.”

 

Ben sat thinking about Rey, what a mess he had made of everything, “I ’m in love with her.

 

 

Rey had fallen into a routine, every Thursday at 6 pm she would meet with Ahsoka. Slowly throughout a couple of months, Rey felt more at ease to talk to her.

 

Rey always gave the same answer when asked about her childhood; she was raised in foster care and survived. Anytime she was pushed for more answers, Rey would change the subject, or leave the conversation. She was nervous, Ahsoka had broached the subject once or twice in passing, but never pushing Rey for more information. Rey knew today they would talk about it, last Thursday Ahsoka had asked her to think about being opening to discuss her childhood.

 

Rey sat, her fingers squeezing the stress ball Ahsoka had given her the second time she showed up for her appointment. She was allowing her a physical release of pent-up energy and anxiety. Rey studied the painting. She could see the brush strokes; the dark paint had short strokes compared the bright yellow, long continuous stroke from the top of the picture till it ended in a pool of yellow on a dimly lit path like an arrow from the heavens to show her the way.

 

“How have you been this week?” Ahsoka asked, sitting down across from Rey. She sat the recorder on the table between herself and Rey.

 

“Ok, it’s been a little hectic at work, with the holidays and retail are always insane. But it keeps me busy, which helps.” Rey offered a small smile.

 

Ahsoka returned her smile, “Good, and have you given thought to what we will discuss today?”

 

Rey inhaled then let the breath go slowly, “Yes.” Her fingers were gripping the little squishy ball in her hand. “I think I’m ready to talk about it now.”

 

“Go at your pace, Rey, whatever you feel like sharing.”

 

Rey nodded, “Um, I guess I’ll start at the beginning. I was abandoned at a shopping mall. They believe I was about three. I have no memory of my parents; I don’t know if they are alive or dead if I have brothers and sisters.” Rey spoke, looking at her hands.

 

Ahsoka sat listening to Rey, letting her take her time.

 

“My social worker was a fat disgusting man by the name of Mr. Plutt,” Rey practically spit his name out like it was poison on her lips. “he made sure I knew that when my parents abandon me that it was cold, and I was left in the rain, like I was trash.” A quiver in her voice.

 

Ahsoka pursed her lips in a tight line, shaking her head, her eyes kind watching Rey speak. “How long was he assigned as your Social Worker?”  
“till I was fifteen, I was placed with Maz; she was my last foster home before I aged out.”

 

“How many homes where you placed in?”

 

Rey shook her head,” Honestly, I don’t know, there were so many. I was a difficult child, and people didn’t like to put up with difficult children.”

 

“Difficult, how?”

 

“I used to have nightmares; sometimes, I’d wet the bed. I remember crying a lot.”

 

“It’s understandable, being so young without having a family to anchor you down, many children are prone to acting out. How were you treated in these homes?”

 

“Some were ok, I guess.” Rey kept her head down. She felt the prickle of tears at the corner of her eyes. “some were not.”

 

“Did anyone hurt you? Touch you? “Ahsoka kept her voice calm and gentle.

 

Rey nodded, the tears dropping on her hands resting in her lap. “some of the foster parents would yell at me or withhold food or blankets when it was cold. Some would hit me, with their hands or a belt.”

 

Ahsoka, didn’t push for more information, Rey sat shaking, her shoulders pulled in tight keeping her head down.

 

“There was one,” her voice so soft almost a whisper, “a family with two little girls, I thought they were so nice, they were so nice to me,” Rey squeezed the little ball between her hands, her voice trembling. “I thought the father was nice, he bought me dresses, called me a princess when his wife wasn’t around.”

 

“How old were you?”

 

Rey looked up, “13” her eyes bloodshot red, “he came into my room one night. I knew what he was there for, I knew.” Rey shook her head. She sat staring forward like she was seeing the past unfold before her. “He sat on my bed, he said I was his precious princess, he leaned over and kissed me. I felt his tongue in my mouth. He was touching me.”

 

Rey blinked taking a deep breath in, “I hit him with the lamp that was on the nightstand, it broke over his head cutting him. There was so much blood, I screamed. I couldn’t stop screaming even when the wife came in, she tried to comfort me,” Rey sat crying, “I couldn’t stop screaming.”

 

“He told them I attacked him; they locked me up in a Juvenile Detention until I was fifteen. “

 

“Till Maz took you in?”

 

Rey nodded, “she took in difficult children.”

 

“How was your life with Maz?”

 

Rey sniffed, her voice broke with emotion. “Maz was the only one who loved me.”

 

“And have you kept in touch with her?”

 

Rey shook her head, “Maz died a couple of years ago.”

 

Ahsoka handed Rey the box of tissues, “I think we should continue this next week, you have done wonderfully. I know it’s difficult to open like that, to share something so painful and traumatic. But the only way to let it go is to face it. To understand that all those horrible things that happened to you were not you’re doing.”

 

Ahsoka walked around the small table and sat down in front of Rey. She took her hands, her thumbs rubbing the back of Rey’s hands. “You are a fighter, a Survivor. It’s time you found peace.”

 

She looked up to Ahsoka’s bright blue eyes. She nodded, “I’d like that.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Young Ben, it is good to see you,” Dr. Yoda smiled, looking up at Ben.  
“Master Yoda,” Ben claps his hands together and bows.  
Dr. Yoda laughs, shaking his head and Offers Ben a seat. “today I’d like to try something new.”  
Ben raised an eyebrow, “new? What am I going to wax your car now?” Ben wipes his hand in the air “wax on,” than his other in the opposite direction “wax off.”  
“We will save that for next week.” Yoda laughs.  
“I want you to relax,” he walks over to stand before Ben,  
“close your eyes; meditation will help you to calm your mind.”  
“I’m not into this new age bullshit.” Ben cocks an eye open to look at Yoda.  
Yoda laughs, “meditation has been used since the beginning of man. Now close your eyes.”  
Ben sighs and closes his eyes, his fingers balled into a fist, clenching and unclenching. Ben feels Yoda’s small hands take hold of each of his hands.  
“Open your hands, Young Ben. Rest the back of your hands on your knees, palms open to the sky.” He stands watching Ben comply with placing his hands on his knees.  
“Now picture a black sky, no lights, no sound, just darkness. Do you see it?” he asked, watching Ben’s face.  
Ben exhales, picturing the black sky, the darkness, his soul. “Yes.”  
“Now picture a pinprick of light in the center of the black sky.” Yoda smiles, seeing Ben’s brow relax, “breath in through the nose and slowly out the mouth.”  
He focused on the pinprick light, inhaling through his nose, and slowly pushing the air out of his lungs and past his lips.

Ben had been coming every Friday at 3:30 pm for two months. This was the first time he followed Yoda’s instructions without being combative.

He sat silently, focusing on the dot of light in his mind, the view that he had been trying for so long to snuff out. The years he spent with Snoke he was sure it had died, till the night he found Rey.  
“Tell me about Snoke,” Yoda calmly asked.  
Ben sighed. He hated talking about Snoke. The man had been his savior and his damnation.  
“Snoke is dead,” He said with no emotion at all, just stating a fact.  
Yoda put his finger to his lips and pondered for a moment. “What was Snoke to you?”  
Ben opened his eyes, giving Yoda a look of disdain. He would see his Mother every Friday night for dinner as part of the agreement for her to take care of Rey’s medical expenses. They always disagreed about almost everything, but his Mother was right about him needing help. That he couldn’t hope to have any healthy relationship; he knew his head was not in the right place. He hoped that if he could somehow to fix himself, Rey might give him another chance.  
“Snoke took me in when I had a falling out with my family.” He sat staring out the window behind Yoda, a view of the river.  
“what was the falling out concerning?”  
“I was an emotional child; sometimes, I had a hard time controlling my anger.” He paused, looking at Yoda, “My Uncle, was ex-military, my parents thought maybe he could help me mitigate my violent outburst.”  
Ben shook his head, “We ended up fighting most of the time, Luke pretty much gave up on me like my parents.”  
“I joined the service that is where I met Master Chief Snoke; he was older than my Father and was close to retiring. He had all these big plans.” Ben rolled his eyes. “he talked a big game, but he had a way of making you believe it, it’s like he knew exactly what I needed to hear. So, when my five years was up, I joined him. We were in the mercenary business, any shithole in the world we were there fighting for whatever warlord had enough money to buy our services.”  
“Is this when you became Kylo Ren?” Yoda asked  
“Snoke said I had to kill my past, to let it die and become someone new, so he named me Kylo Ren,” Ben answered.  
“how did it make you feel? Yoda sat listening.  
“Feel? I didn’t feel. I just did what I was told. I.” Ben paused, shaking his head. “I didn’t want to feel.”  
“Snoke, did he encourage this behavior?” Yoda wrote notes in his little pad, listen intently to Ben.  
“No, Snoke wanted me angry, he would push my buttons, do shit he knew would get a reaction.”  
“Was anger the only emotion he encouraged?”  
Ben shook his head, “no, he used to say passion was the fuel to burn worlds.” He looked at Yoda, a slight redness to his cheeks, “He would bring in hookers for the men, he got off on watching.”  
“He would watch you have sex with the women he would bring in?”  
Ben ran his hand through his hair and exhaled, “Yes.”  
“How did you feel about him watching you?”  
“I don’t know. I got used to it.” Ben glanced up at Yoda. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for? To see if Yoda was disgusted by his admission.  
“did it bother you at first?” Yoda’s tone never changed.  
“Yea, Snoke would laugh at me and tell me that I didn’t know shit about satisfying a woman, that I needed a teacher. He would sit and tell me shit to do, touch her here, pull her hair, harder faster. Fucker was relentless.” Ben swallowed, shaking his head.  
“did he ever touch you?” Yoda watched Ben’s face for signs of distress.  
Ben shook his head, “No, he wanted to control every part of my life, but he never physically touched me. After a while, he stopped coming into the room with me, but I knew he was watching.”  
“why do you think you let him control you that much?” Yoda asked, allowing Ben time to think about it.  
“I trusted him,” Ben rested his elbows on his knees his head resting in his hands. “He made it seem like he did it because he cared about how I felt, that he was invested in me.” Ben looked up at Yoda. “He was like a broken record, how much my family tossed me away, that I was a waste of time in their eyes. But he would help me to be something more than anyone believed I could be including myself.”  
Ben wiped his hands across his eyes, “He would praise me one moment then, berate me the next, it was like being in a fucking tornado, I never knew what to expect I just felt like I was spinning out of control.”  
“You said he is dead; how did that happen?” he wrote in his pad.  
“I killed him,” Ben spoke quietly.  
Yoda raised an eyebrow. He kept quiet sensing Ben had more to say.  
“I told him I was done; I had enough of his hell and wanted to go home. He said I couldn’t leave, that I owed him everything, that he created me.” Ben sat back, looking down at his hands. “Snoke had his guards attack me; I had my grandfather’s sword. I cut them all down, when Snoke tries to shoot me, I cut him in half. I left them all dead on the floor in some jungle in South America.”  
Ben slumped in his chair, tears running down his face, the palms of his hands covering his eyes. “I’m a fucking walking disaster. It would have been better for everyone if I had died in that fucking jungle.”  
“Young Ben, you have walked in the darkness, but you are not lost to the void,” Yoda stood up and put his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “these are your first steps back into the light. But only if you choose that path.”  
Ben looked up to Yoda, his eyes kind and sincere, for the first time in so long Ben felt hope. “I’m ready.”  
< \- >  
Rey was tired, she helped straighten the shelves, and put away the returned merchandise it was 11 pm by the time they closed the store. Rey walked to the bus stop, it wasn’t snowing yet, but the temperature was quickly dropping. Each time the wind blew, she felt it in her bones.  
She pulled the long coat tighter around her body, her hat pulled down around her ears, and the gloves shoved deep in her pockets. Her mind was on her date tomorrow night, a friend of Finn’s he worked at Radio shack, Matt. She was nervous. She didn’t want to go on any dates. But Ahsoka had thought it would be a great way to ease back into a healthy life. She was young with her life before her; they both agreed that she shouldn’t be locked in her apartment unwilling to meet new people.  
She understood now that she had been projecting the type of person she wanted Kylo to be and not the damaged person he was. Ahsoka helped her to work through the pain of betrayal she felt because of him. That his cruelty had open old wounds that never truly healed, she was angry with him, but she couldn’t help but feel compassion towards him. There was something broken inside of him. She had seen it more than once in those deep, expressive brown eyes.  
The bus pulled up, Rey was happy to get out of the cold into a warm bus. She just wanted to go home, take a nice long hot bath, crawl into her bed, and pass out.  
< \- >  
Ben sat in his car just far enough that she couldn’t see him. His heart ached to see her sit in this cold, but everyone was right, he couldn’t talk to her, at least not yet, not until he had his shit together. He sighed, knowing his Mother and Dr. Yoda would not be happy to know that he sits each night when Rey leaves work to watch her wait for the bus. He reasoned that he was there just as protection.  
He had thought more than once there must be a way to get Rey a car. He had the money, that was not the problem it was getting her to accept it knowing it would be from him. He wouldn’t want anything from her for the gift, only her safety. It would mean he would have to deal with Hux, and that red-head soulless bastard wouldn’t take the time to piss on Ben if he was on fire, so he knows he wouldn’t help him unless his Mother told him to do so.  
It killed him to sit there and watch her in the cold. More than once, he scolded himself for taking things too far when he had Rey. He had confessed to Yoda what he had done to Rey, forcing her to watch him fuck the whores that he brought to the house. How in his drunken anger, he left her tied all night and part of the next day to the fucking chair. He wanted to cry more than once when he realized how fucked up it all had been. The worst part was the fact Rey had said she wanted to see him again, but he knocked her unconscious.  
When the bus finally showed up, and Rey was safely on the bus, Ben would follow it to her apartment. He would always hang back watching for her to go into her apartment building, he waited till he could see the light go on in her place before leaving for his home. Where he would lay awake most of the night thinking of ways to win Rey back.  
< \- >  
Rey stood, looking in the mirror, she wore a simple blue dress, with little white flowers. It reminded Rey of something Maz might have worn, Rey laughed, great she was dressing like a little old lady. She sighed; it wasn’t like she was dressing to get laid. The thought of someone touching her made her skin crawl. Someone other than Kylo, she bit her bottom lip. Anger with herself, she stared in the mirror tears starting to run down her cheeks.  
“Fuck,” she spits out, “what can’t I get past this, what the fuck is wrong with me.” She had an urge to call Matt and tell him she felt sick. She picked up the phone and put it back down. Taking a deep breath, she counted backward from twenty as Ahsoka taught her when she felt like she was losing control.  
“I can do this, I can do this,” she told herself looking in the mirror. “You have to do this, Rey.” She nodded to agree with herself.  
She met him at the Chinese restaurant at seven as they had agreed. Matt was charming. He had a warm smile, Rey did her best not to compare to him to Kylo. She focused on Matt, his voice, his eyes, listened to what he had to say. Everything Rey and Ahsoka talked about.  
For the first time in a long time, Rey laughed an enjoyed herself. She only thought about the company before her. They shared a love for old cars and musicals. They talked for hours, about everything and anything. Rey thanked him for the date and wished him a good night.  
She had lunch with Finn the next day, spilling the details of her date with Finn. He was thrilled to see her smile again that she had a good time. That Thursday to told Ahsoka about how well the date went, how she started to feel more confident.  
She called Matt that morning of their date and let him know she wasn’t feeling well. Matt was sweet and offered to bring her some soup, or sit so she could have come company, Rey refused to tell him she was going to sleep it off. That day she laid in bed, she felt sick, but not because she had the flu.  
< \- >  
Two days before Christmas, the store had been a madhouse with last-minute shoppers. They had not been able to get people out of the store until well after midnight. Rey walked through the snow; the night was silent. The only sound was the crunch of the snow under her boots.  
She sat huddled in the little bus stop; her coat pulled tightly around her, she had her head down looking at her phone. She didn’t hear him walk up on her. It wasn’t until she felt his hand on the collar of her coat that Rey looked up in shock.  
The man had a ski mask on; he was only a couple inches taller than Rey but much stronger.  
“Your wallet bitch or your gonna have a shitty Christmas in the hospital.”  
Rey reached into her purse, to pull her wallet out, “Please take it and don’t hurt me.” She handed the wallet to him.  
Before the mugger could take the wallet, he was jerked backward. Ben slammed him into the side of the plexiglass smashing his face against the hard surface, his nose exploded on impact, blood sprayed on the glass. Rey pressed her body into the opposite corner, watching in horror as the two men struggle.  
“call the cops,” Ben yelled at Rey. She called 911. The operator let her know the police were on their way, and she would stay on the phone with her till they arrived.  
The mugger slashed at Ben cutting his coat. Ben grabbed his wrist, twisting it until he dropped the knife in the snow. Ben wrapped his arm around his throat, choking him unconscious. Then he let him fall to his feet, stepping over the man he walked to Rey.  
“Are you hurt?” he bent down to look into her eyes.  
Rey shook her head, looking up at him, “What are you doing here?”  
“I,” Ben paused, unable to look Rey in the eyes, “I just wanted to make sure you were ok.” Hearing the sirens, Ben looked up, then at Rey. He turned and quickly walked away.  
Rey went to the police station to file a report. She told the police she didn’t know who it was that rescued her, just he left before they had arrived. She was given a ride home.  
Rey called out for work the next morning, letting her manager know about the mugging. Her manager hoped that she felt better and to enjoy her holidays.  
She called Ahsoka to tell her about the mugging, Ahsoka insisted on seeing Rey that morning,  
Rey showed up at 10 am. She stood in the same office she had been in every day for almost every Thursdays for the last 6months.  
Rey assured she was ok, she told her about the attack, and how a good Samaritan had stepped in and saved her. Rey didn’t tell her it was Kylo who had saved her. She didn’t want Ahsoka to know she had contact with him.  
Ahsoka smiled, asking what Rey’s plans for Christmas were. She understood Rey wanting to enjoy the holidays in peace, Rey promised Ahsoka she was not hiding. She just didn’t like Christmas.  
Staring at the same painting, for the first time, Rey noticed the small signature at the bottom of the art. A. Skywalker.  
Rey turned confused, “Did you say that the Skywalker Foundation is the ones that paid for all my medical bills?”  
Ahsoka nodded, “Anakin Skywalker is who painted that, we served in the Navy together. I was their Navy corpsman. Anakin was a warrior in every sense of the word. There wasn’t a mission we took that didn’t get completed. In war, there are always casualties; we lost many of our brothers and sisters. Those coming back didn’t always have physical wounds.” Ahsoka spoke softly, honoring a man she loved as a brother.  
“What happened to him?” Rey asked she could hear the sadness in Ahsoka’s voice.  
“His wife died in childbirth, he blamed himself, he sometimes had a violent outburst, he had a hard time controlling his emotions. He felt the stress of him returning from war was too much for her.” Ahsoka shook her head.  
“Anakin loved with all his heart. He couldn’t live without Padma. He left never knowing he had twins.”  
“How sad,” Rey looked at the painting once more, wondering if the light in the dark represented Padma showing him the path.  
Rey didn’t do Christmas. She didn’t want a reminder of her horrible childhood. Even Finn couldn’t get her to celebrate the holidays with his family. Rey always preferred to stay home and read a good book.  
It had shown that morning, Rey made herself a pot of coffee, she likes to stand at the window and watch the snow fall. She stared but all she could see was Kylo fighting the mugger, he was unarmed and yet still attacked the man to save her. Rey felt so confused. Her stomach growled, so she decided to make herself breakfast.  
There was a knock at her door. Rey stood quietly when there was another knock. She walked to the door and looked out the peephole. Something told her it would be him, she bit her lip, fighting back the tears.  
“Who is it?” she called out her voice trembled.  
He stood silent. She knew he was debating on what to say. “It’s me, Rey, can we please talk?”  
Rey swallowed, her heart beating hard in her chest, she reached up and unlatched the door, before she lost her nerve she opened the door.  
Ben stood looking sheepish, almost like he was trying to make himself look less imposing. He glanced at her face, before walking in, Rey shut the door. She held onto the doorknob for a minute before letting it go to turn and look up at Ben.  
“What do you want Kylo or is it Ben?” she said with coldness in her voice.  
He didn’t look at Rey, “Ben,” he said in a soft tone. After a few minutes of silence, Ben looked up at Rey. She stood looking at him, waiting for him to speak.  
“I wanted to tell you. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you.” He didn’t look at her; each time he glanced up at her face, she could see shame in his eyes.  
“You didn’t deserve what I did,” He swallowed, a tear pooling at the corner of his eye. “I don’t know what to say or do to make it better, I know ... I know I can’t change what I did.” He inhaled profoundly doing his best to get his emotions under control.  
Rey watched him, shaking her head, her anger boiling deep in her chest, “You’re sorry? Really?” angry tears wetting her face.  
“Do you know what you did to me? Do you understand what kind of fucking hell I lived through?” she screamed at him.  
“I grew up with no one,” she growled, “No one to loved me, I was treated like shit, I was told all my life I was nothing.”  
Ben reached out to try and touch her, to comfort her, Rey slapped his hand away. “What the fuck was you trying to prove? I... I don’t understand how you could be so cruel, then be kind to me?” Rey wiped the tears from her eyes.  
Ben shook his head, “you are everything Rey, you didn’t deserve any of it, what they did to you, what I did to you. You deserve the world placed at your feet.”  
“I’m not asking for you to forgive me, I know you can’t. I wanted you to know that you deserve to be happy.” Ben stood, his head down. Rey couldn’t see his face from his long hair hiding him from her.  
“I’m so fucked up. I’m sorry I tried to drag you into my world.” He looked up at her. His eyes were red from crying. Ben held the keys in his hands; he exhaled and took Rey’s hand in his. He placed the keys in her hand.  
“I want you to be safe; please just be safe.” Ben let go of her hand. He headed to the door.  
“what is this?” Rey asked, looking up confused.  
“It’s a gift, no strings attached.” Ben took hold of the handle of the door, pulling it open. Rey slammed her body against the door, blocking his way.  
“No,” she said, trying to hand the keys back to him.  
“Please Rey, it’s paid for, and in your name, I paid the taxes, everything it’s free and clear. I can’t ... what If I had not been there that night?” He asked, looking into her eyes, something in his eyes didn’t set right in her.  
“I can’t Rey. You have to be safe.” He swallowed, “I’m not going to be around, it’s not safe for you to wait for a bus at night. Please take the car.”  
His words twisted in her belly, she stepped closer to him, trying to get a look in his eyes. “where are you going Ben?” she asked her voice gentle.  
He refused to look in her eyes, “it doesn’t matter,” he muttered.  
She cupped his chin in her hands, “Look at me, Ben,” she waited till his eyes met hers, “it does matter.”  
“All I do is hurt everyone I love,” she could see the pain in his eyes, “I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” He whispered.  
Rey shook her head, “I’m not taking the car.”  
Ben closed his eyes. His shoulders slumped, “Please Rey.” He pleaded with her.  
“You will have to be sure you are here to take me to work and pick me up.” She watched his face. “You offered once before.”  
Ben looked up to find Rey staring at him with a hint of a smile on her lips. He nodded slowly, “Yes, I did.”

 

Ben kept his promise every morning, he showed up to take Rey to work, and every night he took her home. Days bled into weeks which turned into months of this arrangement. He was happy to be part of her life, never pushing for more, but secretly he hoped. They got to know a little more about each other during the commutes in the morning and nights. 

They shared their interest. Ben smiled, hearing how Rey wanted to travel to places she had never seen before, to experience life. He hoped that one day she would trust him enough to let him take her to these places. 

After a month, Rey shared details about her childhood, how she was abandoned as a small child and suffered growing up in foster care. Ben told Rey about his childhood, growing up a lonely child into an angry young man, his parents always too busy to be there for him. How he had fallen for Snokes dogma, and how it all ended. 

“Not everyone was horrible, there were some terrific people, some were not good people at all,” Rey said with a sad whisper. 

Ben shook his head, “I’m sorry.” They sat quietly in his car, each with a coffee in hand, waiting for Rey’s shift to start.

Rey smiled a little, “I did have Maz, she took me in when I was 15. She was amazing, and taught me so much.”

Ben returned her smile, “she sounds amazing, do you still stay in touch?” His thoughts moved to his Mom, even though she had been less than an attentive Mother, she was still someone he could turn to. 

Rey shook her head, “No, she passed away a couple of years ago. Now all I have left is Finn, and I guess Dr. Tano.” She replied with a quiet voice looking down at her coffee, 

Ben turned his head to look out the window. He didn’t want Rey to see the disappointment on his face. He wanted so badly to tell her she had him but knew that had to be her declaration.

“And you.” She smiled, looking at Ben. 

His head whipped around, making her giggle at the utter shock on his face. He couldn’t help the big dopey grin. 

He reached over and took her hand, “You’ll have me till the day I die.” 

Rey smiled “I’m glad we could become friends.”

Ben wanted to be so much more. He kissed the back of her hand, “me too.”

Rey looked at her watch, “well time to go earn my paycheck, later, Ben.” She smiled, opening the car door.

Ben nodded, “have a good day; I’ll be here at 10.” He smiled at Rey, his heart thumping hard in his chest. He knew she was the love of his life; every day, he prayed that she would one day accept his love. 

 

Both remain in therapy, Ben offered to take Rey to her sessions, but she declined. She wasn’t ready for anyone else to know about her arrangement with Ben. She knew that Finn and Ashoka would not approve of the agreement, she knew they had their reasons valid ones, but she couldn’t seem to stop whatever it was between Ben and herself. So, in the meantime, she did her best to keep him a secret from her friends.

Ben knew her reasons. He didn’t tell Leia or Dr. Yoda that he was now in constant contact with Rey. Both of whom felt it necessary to remind him that he was a fuck up, that he would only hurt her more. Ben reasoned in his heart the only way Rey would ever be aright is if he helped her to fix the damage he had done. No matter what lengths he had to go, He would do what was necessary. 

Ben knew Rey was dating Matt, she never talked about him, and Ben never brought it up. The nights she spent with Matt was pure agony for Ben. More than once, he had debated with himself about getting rid of Matt. Ben had tried to leave that life in the past, the blood on his hands stained his soul. He knew that Rey would know that he killed Matt and she would never forgive him. So, he suffered silently sitting outside of either her apartment or Matts. 

He didn’t date or go to a bar to pick up someone for a one-night stand. In his heart, he knew only Rey could feel the void; the thought of someone else felt like a betrayal. He could endure, he would wait till she trusted him again, then he would sweep her off her feet and show her what real love felt like, his passion. 

Then one morning Ben’s world fell apart, Rey slipped into the passenger seat of the car. Her smile bright and cheery always warmed his heart. She had a date with Matt the night before. Ben did his best to ignore the pain in his chest, knowing that Matt had left early that morning. 

“Morning, Ben,” Rey sat back a grin on her face. 

“Morning,” Ben returned her smile, handing her a cup of coffee. 

She reached for the cup with her left hand, the sun’s morning light gleamed across the stone in the ring on her ring finger. Ben stopped, stone silence filled the car, his eyes glued to the ring on her finger. Rey slowly took the cup from his hand, pulling her hand down into her lap.

“you got engaged?” his voice came out in a harsh whisper.

Rey shook her head, her voice a little timid, “it’s a promise ring.”

Ben’s brows furrowed, “promise ring?” his voice felt strained.

Rey looked down at her lap, the sudden realization that this would change her relationship with Ben. “It’s a promise that I’d date only Matt.” 

Ben nodded, starting the car his eyes on the road. The silence felt deafening to Rey. She fidgeted in her seat. 

“We can still be friends,” she softly spoke glancing over to Ben. His lips sat in a tight line across his face; he only nodded.

Ben pulled up to the curb instead of the first parking space to wait for her shift to start. Rey felt the sting in her eyes. She blinked back the tears that threaten to fall.

“Is this it then?” her voice came out a little harsher.

Ben looked over at Rey for the first time since he has seen the ring. His lip still in a tight line, Rey could see the hurt in his eyes. 

She reached for the door handle, “I’ll find my way home tonight. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.” She let the pain and anger carry her words.

Ben reached over, “no,” he shook his head, “I’m sorry, no I..” he started to say, putting the car in gear pulling over to the first parking space. “I was just, “his voice quiet, gentle. “it just took me by surprise. I want you to be my friend Rey. This changes nothing.” 

Rey looked into his eyes. She could read his every emotion. 

He held his hand out to her, “please.”

Rey looked at his hand and back up to his eyes. She gave him the slightest of smiles. She took his hand into hers, “Ok.”

 

Ben’s phone rang again for the third time he lets it go to voice mail, the fourth time he answers. “Yes, Mother, what is it that you want?” he replied through clenched teeth. 

“I need to speak to you, join me for lunch at the house,” Leia responded in her usual calm tone. 

“I don’t have time.” Ben started to reply before being shut down by Leia. 

“this is about Rey, so make time.” She retorted, “Lunch will be at noon, do not be late.”

Ben sat looking at his phone, dragging his long fingers through the mop of dark hair. “fuck!” 

He showed up at noon on the hour, Leia’s assistant Rose led him to the kitchen, announcing his arrival. Leia stood up and hugged Ben. She stepped back to look at him, a frown on her face. Leia sat down, waiting for Ben to take his seat.

“You don’t look well, have you been eating?” Leia took a sip of her tea.

Ben sighed, “Yes, I’m fine. You said you wanted to talk about Rey.” 

Leia set her glass down, closing her eyes before she started to speak. “I know you are seeing her.”

Ben’s eyes narrowed, “we are friends, Mother, nothing more,” he retorted.

“I know she is engaged with her boyfriend,” Leia sat up, “Ben, she has made her choice. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.” She reached out for his hand. 

He snatched his hand off the table and started to stand, “she’s not engaged; it’s a promise ring.” He began to leave; the pain in his voice was loud and clear to Leia.

“Ben, “Leia stood up and walked behind her son, wrapping her arms around his waist, “son, I love you, I’d lay down my life for you.” She kissed the top of his head. “this has to end, not just for you but for her as well. You both deserve to be happy.”

“I love her,” he whispered.

“then let her go,” Leia pulled his chin up to look into his deep brown eyes. “she has made her choice, Ben.”

Leia sat back down, “I’d like you to meet someone.”

Ben shook his head, “I don’t want to meet anyone.”

“Please, Ben, meet her. She’s a lovely girl. Her name is Connix. Give yourself a chance at happiness. Give Rey a chance to heal. She needs to be able to get past everything.” Leia watched her son’s face, the pain and resolve.

Ben nodded, “Ok, I’ll meet her.”

 

Rey woke from a dead sleep, her dreams of Ben making love to her, his kisses trailed down her body. Each kiss was followed by a procession of love, how beautiful she was, how happy she made him. He slipped his hand into hers, pulling her hand to his lips, the ring shining in his eyes. A look of pain and betrayal, tears sliding down his cheeks. 

Rey shook her head, “No please Ben,” she tried to pull the ring off her finger. But it wouldn’t budge, Ben sat back, slowly backing off the bed. His head hung, he turned his back and walked away. Her pleads lost to the quiet darkness of the room. 

She laid in her bed, her pillow wet with her tears, the morning sun peeking through the windows. It had been a week since she accepted Matt’s promise ring, and Ben had found out. Her guilt turned to anger. She didn’t owe him anything. He was at fault here, he forced her hand, and he could deal with it. 

Rey met Finn for lunch at a local burger joint; she enjoyed her Thursday afternoons with Finn. It was a routine that worked well for Rey, Thursdays were her day off, she would have lunch with Finn then at six meet Dr. Tano for her appointments.

“Rey!!” Finn hugged her excited to see her, grabbing her left hand a massive grin on his face. “Matt said he was going to ask, I wasn’t sure what you would say, but I’m so glad you accepted Matt.”

Rey smiled, “it was a little unexpected.”

Finn sat down still holding her hand, his thumb rubbing the back of her knuckles something that Ben had a habit of doing. “You deserve this Rey after everything you have been through you deserve this!”

Rey smiled at Finn a quick nod of agreement before she turned her attention to the menu. Rey listened to Finn chat on, about how great Matt is how happy the both will be together. 

Rey sat picking at her food, pulling off bits of bacon from her burger. She didn’t look at Finn, so lost in her thoughts she missed his silence watching her. 

“Rey?” Finn called her name, Rey looked up to see the worry in his warm brown eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Rey shook her head and sighed, “It just feels to fast. like this is a rebound instead of something real.”

Finn’s brow shot up, “rebound? Rey, what are you talking about?” He watched the expression on her face, the same look she had in the hospital. 

“Rey, you were a hostage, that was not a relationship.” His tone was harsh, making Rey flinch.

Finn stopped and took a deep breath, “I’m sorry Rey, I didn’t mean to come off like that. But this Kylo doesn’t love you; he just wanted to possess you. That’s not love,” Finn looked in her eyes. “You have to let this go before it destroys you.”

She knew he was right; tears filled her eyes as she nodded, “I know, I want to give Matt a chance.” She smiled, holding up her hand, “I did say yes.” 

Finn returned her smile, “yes, you did.”

That afternoon she sat in Ahsoka’s office, they had been discussing her decision to accept Matt’s promise ring. Ahsoka felt this was a positive move. She smiled and nodded, listening to Ahsoka mirror Finn’s appraisal of the situation. She couldn’t help the pain in her chest, that this was wrong. She knew Finn and Ahsoka was thinking about her best interest. Ben was damaged. 

The small voice that haunted her in the depts of the night whispered, damaged like her.

The following week, everything fell back into the usual routine, Ben would pick her up in the morning give her a coffee and drive her to work. Except now, he barely looked at her. He only spoke to her when she spoke first. Each day felt like a larger split in the gorge, that formed the day he knew she had accepted Matt. The day you rejected Ben, the small voice whispered. 

Each day barely a word spoken between them besides good morning and goodnight. It felt like a knife to her heart. She couldn’t help the anger, that now seems to simmer just below the surface. Every morning she decided to tell him that she couldn’t see him any longer, that she would have Matt pick her up and drop her off. But the moment she slipped into his car, the anger was gone, and the thought of pushing him away was too painful. 

 

Ben thought about his upcoming date with Connix. He sat waiting for Rey in the morning. His Mother’s words echoing in his mind; he had to let her go. He would tell her today that he could no longer do this, that she would have to find someone else to drive her. She wasn’t his; he wasn’t responsible for her safety, or her happiness. But the moment Rey opened the door and sat down, it all went away. The thought of never seeing her again made him feel sick. He felt trapped, unable to do anything but continue the path he was on. Maybe this Connix would be the one to make him forget his love for Rey. He hoped, not sure how much longer he could pretend that he wasn’t being torn to pieces. 

 

Ben stood in front of the mirror, it was a casual date, so jeans and a simple black Henley and boots. His stomach twisted, his heart ached he didn’t want to do this, but Rey had made her choice, and it wasn’t him. 

He ran his hand through his long dark hair, “Ok Solo, you can do this. Just let go,” he looked up into the mirror the pain in his eyes reflected, “just let go,” he whispered to himself. 

He met Connix, a beautiful blonde with a sweet smile at one of the café’s that lined the main street. It was a beautiful warm day, so they opted to enjoy eating outside. Ben did his best to put aside his feelings for Rey. Each day with her was slowly killing him. This was self-preservation. 

Connix was one of Leia’s office staff, a senior leader in her corporation. She had graduated from Yale with an MBA in Business degree. She was smart, beautiful, and available. Ben smiled, listening to her talk, determined to give Connix a chance. 

Rey had just left her appointment with Dr. Tano. She still refused to acknowledge that she was having her doubts about moving farther with Matt. That he wasn’t the one that she wanted. She heard his deep laugh before she saw him. There he was sitting with a woman, laughing enjoying her company. She stood unable to move, a sharp pain straight to her heart. He was out with someone else, a beautiful someone else. 

Rey inhaled sharply trying to catch her breath; the small voice whispered, “he’s replaced you.”

“No,” she whispered to herself, “no, he owes me.” 

Without thinking, Rey found herself standing before Ben’s table smiling down at a shocked Ben. Connix smiled up at Rey, sensing she knew Ben assuming they were friends. Rey turned and smiled at Connix; she reached out to shake Connix’s hand. 

“Hi, I’m Rey,” she smiled. Connix took her hand in greeting. Before Connix could reply, Rey continued, “Ben’s girlfriend.”

Ben’s mouth dropped open, Connix’s brow pinched confused looking between Ben and Rey. 

Connix looked at Ben a look of confusion and anger, “I thought Leia said you were single?”

Before Ben could speak, Rey sat down in Ben’s lap, taking his chin in her fingers, “Isn’t that right Babe?”

Ben nodded his eyes staring at Rey, their eyes locked on one another. The scrape of Connix chair caught both of their attention, a worried look on her face. 

“Ok, I don’t know what the game is, but nice to meet you, Ben, and good luck to both of you,” she walked away before Ben could utter a word. 

He wrapped his hands around her waist, his fingers trembling. His voice came out softly, “are you sure?”

Rey bit her lip, looking into his dark eyes. “I want you.”  
Her words were like a shot of adrenaline to his heart, “I love you,” he kissed her lips, feeling like he was giving the keys to heaven. 

“But,” she said, looking at him, her eyes trained on his. “On one condition.”

“Anything,” Ben quickly replied. 

Rey waited for Ben to pay the tab, before following him back to his car. He stopped to open the door for her, Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her kiss.

Rey looked at his lips, then back to his eyes. “I feel like the only way I can let the past go,” she paused, watching his face. “I need you to understand what you did to me.”

Ben stood silent, waiting for her to explain what she needed from him. She slipped into the car and waited for Ben to get into the driver side.

Rey sighed, “I want to tie you up,” she paused, watching his face. “As you did to me, I want you to watch while I fuck someone else,” she whispered.

“Rey,” Ben called her name before he could continue Rey gave him her demands. 

“You will be tied up with a ball gag, but you can not close your eyes or look away if you do it’s over. I will never speak to you again.” Her voice came out strained with emotions. 

Ben frowned, “I didn’t force you to keep your eyes on me.”

“No, you just fucking kept me, prisoner,” she sneered back. 

Ben closed his eyes and let a long exhale. He nodded, “Ok, if this is what is going to give you peace and forgive me, Rey, anything you want, I’ll do.”

Rey smiled, reaching over and running her fingers through his hair, “this will make it even. We can start over fresh.” She whispered. 

Ben bit his bottom lip, “what about Matt?” he said, looking down at her left hand. 

Rey looked down at her hand, she slipped the ring off her finger and put it in her purse. “I’ll call him tomorrow to let him know it’s over.”

Ben took her hand and kissed her knuckles, closing his eyes, he asked, “when do you want to do this?”

Rey sat back in the seat, “I want to do this as soon as possible, tonight?” She asked, looking up at Ben.

He nodded, “ok.” He replied softly. He drove Rey back to her apartment. Her hands trembled when she brought out the length of rope she had, and a ball gag. 

“Rey, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want too. I don’t want you to get hurt.” Ben took her hands in his; he rubbed the back of her knuckles with his large thumbs. 

“No,” Rey bit back, “I,” she bit back a sob. “I don’t know how to let it go, Ben, I need proof that you understand the pain, I need you to do this for me.”

Ben nodded his eyes watching her, he stepped back and took a seat in the chair, resting his hands on the armrest and put the heels of his feet to the legs of the chair. “I want you to be ok, Rey. I’m ready.” He watched her bind his wrist to the arm of the chair and his ankles to the legs. Rey leaned over and pressed her lips to Ben’s before putting the ball gag into his mouth. 

She stood for a moment, balling her hands into a fist and relaxing. “Ok, I’ll be back in a bit,” she spoke. Her voice sounded nervous. 

 

After a little over an hour, Ben heard Rey come back to the apartment. She was talking to someone. 

“Look, I have to be honest with you. I have a boyfriend.” Rey tells the stranger, “he’s here,” she paused before Ben heard her speak again. “He likes to watch is that going to be a problem?”

A male’s voice spoke with a hint of hesitation, “um, ok, I guess it’s ok.” 

Rey laughed and pulled him into her bedroom. He was young maybe a couple of years older than Rey, with sandy blonde hair and a little under six foot. 

Rey turned and pulled the stranger into a kiss, Ben bit harder into the ball. He didn’t look away, but he focused his eyes on Rey’s head. The stranger kept watching Ben, after a couple of minutes of kissing Rey, he pulled back. 

“Look, I’m sorry, you’re hot as fuck, but I can’t fuck you while he watches. I’m sorry,” the stranger walked out of the bedroom. Ben could hear the door shut in the living room. He wanted to smile; his prayer answered. 

Rey ran her hand down her face, shaking her head at Ben. “You’re not getting out of this that easy,” she said before leaving him in the bedroom alone. The front door opened and closed again. 

Ben sat in the chair for the next 3 hours. His muscles started to cramp, he moved his shoulders, praying that Rey wouldn’t be able to find anyone. He heard the loud laughter before the door in the living room opened and shut again. The way Rey was slurring her words and laughing he knew she was drunk, and by the way, the male spoke he sounded as if he was as well.

Rey pulled a much older man into the bedroom with her. He was shorter than the man before but more muscular.

Rey stopped pointing at Ben, “This is Kylo, he’s going to watch you fuck me, s’ok?” 

The man stopped and looked at Ben for a minute, then let out a belly laugh, “He wants me to fuck his girl, what the fuck do I care if he watches.” 

Ben gripped the arm of the chair, unable to look away as the man pawed at Rey, she let him pull her clothes off her body. Thankfully Rey had enough sense to make him use a condom before crawling on the bed and let him mount her. 

Rey watched Ben the whole time the stranger rutted into her body, the lewd sounds of flesh slapping against flesh filled the room, the man talked the entire time, making comments about Rey’s tight pussy and want a bitch Kylo was for watching him fuck his girl. 

Ben’s eyes lost focus as the tears slipped down his cheeks. Rey never took her eyes off his. She watched his eyes fill with pain and sorrow. The man finished, leaving Rey unfulfilled, she quickly crawled off the bed and headed to the bathroom slamming the door shut. 

Ben watched the man grab his pants off the floor. Ben’s eyes never left the strangers. Ben’s eyes narrowed, giving him a look that would kill. 

The man put his shirt on, “What the fuck are you looking at, bitch?” He walked over to Ben a smirk on his face.

“What you didn’t like the show? Maybe I should fuck her again, so you know what a real man looks like,” he laughed. 

Ben would have ripped his throat out if he wasn’t tied to the chair, the stranger reared back and punched Ben in the jaw.

“How do you like that bitch?” again he punched Ben, the sickening sound of the crack of his knuckles on Ben’s face brought Rey out of the bathroom. She had put on a robe. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Rey screamed, running to push the man away from Ben.

“I don’t like the way this fucker was looking at me,” the stranger growled pushing Rey back and punch Ben in the face again. Blood poured from Ben’s lip and nose. 

“Stop!!!,” Rey screamed clawing at the stranger, “fucking leave him alone.” 

The stranger back-hand Rey hard enough to knock her to the floor. 

Ben pulled himself up and rammed the chair into the wall behind him with enough force to crack the wood. The stranger turned and tried to punch Ben again, Ben pulled back, before slamming his forehead into the man’s face breaking his nose. Still, Ben slammed himself against the wall until the chair broke freeing him from his bonds. 

The moment he was free Ben attacked the man, knocking him to the ground before sitting on his chest, raining down his fist. Rey screamed at Ben to stop, grabbing his arm.

“Please, Ben, please stop or you will kill him.” She begged him.

Ben pushed himself off the man, grabbed him by his arm, the stranger still trying to get to his feet. His face covered in blood, his breathing came out as quick gasp, as he struggled for air. Ben pulled him to the front door and threw him out into the hallway. 

Once the man was out of the apartment, Ben pulled the ball gag out of his mouth. He took a deep breath, his nose broken and bloody, making it difficult for him to breathe through his nose. 

Rey stood crying, and slowly, she walked to Ben. Her body shook, “Ben?” she called his name, fear in her voice.

Ben looked up at Rey. He wiped the blood from his nose again. His eyes dark, “Was this the pound of flesh you were owed?” he asked her, a quiet rage burned. 

“I’m sorry Ben, I.” Rey sobbed reaching out for Ben. 

He took a step back his legs, hitting the front of the sofa. He sat down. His large hands covered his face. “I can’t do this anymore Rey,” a sadness settled in his tone. 

“I can’t sit back and watch you destroy yourself.” Ben walked over to Rey, taking her face into his hands. “I hope you can find happiness. You deserve so much more then I can give you.” He kissed her forehead before walking out the door. 

 

Rey laid in her bed and cried. She felt lost and confused and dirty. She called out of work, the drive to function at all gone. She spent the next couple of days in her bed. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do but knew she didn’t want to spend her life like this any longer.

She thought about everything in her life, which gave her happiness. She loved Finn and came to care for Dr. Tano. She liked Matt but only as a friend. She knew she wasn’t happy; nothing here made her happy. Except for Ben, she realized holding onto the past only hurt her. 

Rey’s mind was made up. She called Matt and asked him to meet her at her job. There she explained that she cared for him, but it would never be anything more then a friendship, she returned his ring and wished him the best. She went to work, long enough to quit her job. Rey went home and packed her few things she owned and called for a cab. 

 

Ben decided he needed a change. He hoped putting distance between himself and Rey would make his heart forget her. He chose not to let anyone know where he was going or for how long he would be gone. It wasn’t like anyone would miss him, he didn’t have a job or friends, and his Mother was used to him disappearing. He packed his duffle bag and headed out to his car. 

“hi,” her voice stopped him. Ben looked up to see Rey standing next to his car, a suitcase next to her feet. 

“Rey, what are you doing here?” he asked, hesitant to come closer.

“I’m tired of holding on to the past. I want to let go of all the pain.” She took a small step towards him. 

“I forgive you, Ben, for everything and hope you can forgive me. I was hurt and wanted to make you feel that pain, but it was wrong.” She lowered her head, a soft sob escaping her lips. “I hurt you.”

Ben closed the distance, “Rey stop, it’s done it’s over let it go,” he pulled her chin up to look into his eyes. “I’ve let it go.”

Rey ran her fingertips over his split lip, his eye still swollen but not as much as before. “I love you, Ben.”

He pulled her into his tight embrace, fearful this was a dream to wake up alone again. “I love you,” he whispered into her ear. 

Rey smiled up at Ben, taking a moment to look down at his duffle bag. “where are you going?” she asked, realizing that he was leaving.

“I,” Ben smiled, “I don’t know, I was just going to get in and drive.” 

Rey smiled up at him, “that sounds lovely, care for a company?”

Ben smiled gingerly kissing her lips, to keep his from breaking open again. He pulled from her arms, reached down and grabbed his bag and hers tossing them both into the trunk of the car. He stepped around Rey to open the door for her, Rey slipped into the seat, taking a moment to put her seat belt on, 

Ben sat down in the driver side, putting his seat belt on, his arm resting on the back of the seat turning to back the car out of the driveway. Rey smiled, watching Ben, his fingers reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Ready for an Adventure?” Ben asked He couldn’t help but give her a big dopey grin.

“Absolutely,” Rey replied.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank everyone that took the time to read this story, it is greatly appreciated.

Leia sat in her office, going over a spreadsheet. She heard the doorbell. She glanced up to see Rose already heading to the door. Her office is the hall right off the main entrance of the front door. She could hear voices, distinctly a deep male voice, Ben.

 

Leia quickly headed to the front door. She stopped just as she exited her office. There stood Ben with a big grin on his face. 

 

“Mom!” he said excitedly as he wrapped his arms around her and placed a kiss on her cheek. 

 

“Ben.” Leia smiled, ecstatic to see her son after three years. 

 

“Ben, catch him.” Leia heard an unfamiliar female voice. Ben turned quickly to snatch up a giggling dark head toddler, completely nude little boy. 

 

Ben laughed, “Where are you going little gremlin?” He smiled at Leia and handed the toddler over to his mom.

 

“Say hello, to your Grandmother.” He rubbed the toddler’s back, a toothy grin on his face. “this is Han Gavin Solo.” Ben kissed the back of his son’s head. 

 

Leia blinked, her eyes wet with unshed tears, “Han,” she repeated his name. The small boy smiled at Leia. She laughed as she kissed the cherub in her arms, his hair as dark and full as his father, with hazel eyes. Leia caught a glimpse of his mother as she walked towards them. She knew without having to ask this was Rey, and Rey was very very pregnant. 

 

“I’m sorry he got away from me before I could get a pull-up on him.” She smiled her cheeks a slight pink blush. 

 

Ben hugged her, “It’s ok Babe, in your condition not sure how you got up in the first place. Ben laughed as Rey slapped his arm playfully. 

 

“Mom, this is Rey.” Ben had his hand on Rey’s lower back as his hand ran up and down her back to soothe her. 

 

“Nice to finally get to meet you, Mrs. Solo,” Rey smiled. She held out her hand. 

 

Leia looked at Rey’s hand then back up to the nervous girl’s face, “Please dear call me Leia or Mom,” she hugged Rey with the toddler set on her hip. Leia kissed her cheek, “You are family, call me, Mom.”

Rey smiled, she wiped a tear out of her eyes, “thank you, Mom,” she all but whispered. 

 

Leia laughed, “damn it now I’m crying.” 

 

Ben took the boy from Leia, “Let me get this hellion dressed,” Leia and Rey followed Ben to the sitting room off the front door. The bag still on the floor along with the small blanket. With ease, he wrangled a pull-up on the boy along with a shirt and shorts. 

 

“There you go,” Ben kissed the boy on the head, letting him walk around the small room. 

 

Leia sat down, watching the toddler wander around the room. Rey handed him a toy truck. 

 

“Where have you been?” Leia asked, looking between Ben and Rey.

 

Ben sat down on the couch facing Leia with Rey, their hands clasped together. 

 

“I needed to get away, as it turned out, so did Rey.” He smiled at her pulling her hand up to his lips. 

 

“I wasn’t sure. I knew you were gone and when I checked with Dr. Tano she hadn’t seen Rey.” Leia exhaled.

 

Rey frowned, ‘You know Dr. Tano?”

 

Leia nodded, “She is an old family friend. She and my father were in the war together. I didn’t trust anyone else with your care. Dear. But rest assure Ahsoka would never betray your trust. We only funded your care, but that is as far as it went. The same as Ben’s doctor.” Leia sighed, sitting back in the couch. “I’ll admit I was worried, that maybe your disappearance was due to Ben.” 

 

Rey smiled, “Ben didn’t force me into anything,” Rey looked down at her hands. “We both had serious issues to work out. But in the end, I decided to leave with him.” Rey leaned on Ben a smile on her face. “We aren’t perfect, but we are happy.”

Leia smiled, “I’m glad,” she bit her lip as she took in the happy little boy. “I wished you could have trusted me sooner; let me know you both were alright. And that I was going to be a grandmother.” Leia’s voice was soft. Ben could hear the hurt in her tone. 

He stood and crossed the small room to sit next to his mom, “I know, I’m sorry. We had a lot of issues to work out, Han wasn’t planned.” Ben smiled over at his little boy. “but he is loved.”

Ben hugged Leia, “And when we found out Rey was pregnant again, we wanted to come home and share our family with you.”

The formidable Leia broke down and cried as she hugged her son. Rey watched while tears ran down her cheeks, little Han coo patting Rey’s knee. Ben hugged his mother until her sobs subsided. 

Leia wiped her tears, “So does this mean you are staying?”

Ben looked at Rey. She returned his smile, “yeah, we are back.”

Leia smiled and smacked Ben on the knee, “good; I’ll have your room ready.” She stopped and looked between Ben and Rey, “You are going to stay here?”

Rey blushed, “We weren’t sure, we don’t want to impose.”

Leia stood, “Non-sense, you’re staying here! And I’m going to get to know my grandson and my Daughter-in-law.” Leia swooped up her grandson, “let’s get some lunch.”

Connix let herself in. She knew Leia would be in the kitchen; it was noon after all. She stopped in the doorway when she came face to face with Ben Solo. Ben’s eyes widened when he caught sight of the blonde. He ditched a little over three years ago.

 

“Hello?” Connix said with a bit of uncertainty. 

“Connix!” Leia smiled, “come meet my grandson, Han.” She smiled, holding a drooling toddler, a cookie in each little fist.”

Connix smiled, “He’s beautiful.” She smiled, running her fingertips through his silky, fluffy hair.

Rey watched Connix coo over her little boy. A sense of shame came over her, remembering how she acted the last time she saw the blonde, “thank you.” Rey bit her bottom lip and let out a long sigh. “I want to apologize,” she glanced over at Connix. “It was rude and uncalled for the way I treated you that last time we saw each other.”

Connix waved her hand as she shook her head, “It’s ok Rey; honestly, I’m not mad. It was a difficult situation, I’m sure. But I see it has worked out and I’m glad you are both finally happy.” 

Rey smiled, “thank you. We are very happy.” She smiled at Ben, her hand on her very pregnant belly. “Oh,” Rey giggled, “she’s active today.”

Leia raised an eyebrow, “You’re having a girl, that’s wonderful.” 

Ben smiled, “well, it’s not official.”

Leia gave Ben a confused look, “what does that mean?”

Rey smirked at Ben, “well, I’ve not had an ultrasound, but last time Ben dreamt of nothing, but a boy and Han was born, now he dreams of nothing but a girl.” Rey shrugged as if that made any sense.

Leia frowned, “when was the last time you’ve been to an ob/gyn?”

Rey bit her lip staring at her belly, “um it’s been a couple of months, we were in South America when we found out I was pregnant.”

Leia gasped, “Rey! Ben! “she looked between them, “You are going to the doctor as soon as I can get you an appointment. ROSE.” Leia called out for her assistant. 

Rose emerged into the room within a minute, “Ma’am?”

“Call Dr. Kalonia, let her know I need a recommendation for an ob/gyn asap.” Leia paused for a moment, “also tell Jango I need the car we are going shopping.”

Rose nodded and hurried away to complete her task. Connix waited for Leia to finish with Rose, “Leia, I’m sorry, could I have a moment of your time?” she smiled nodding towards the door. 

“Yes, yea of course,” Leia smiled at Connix before turning to Rey and Ben, “We are going to need things for the nursey and Han’s room. So, once you’re done with lunch, we will go.” With that, Leia followed Connix back to her office. 

Rey sighed. She sat at the kitchen counter, “this is going better than I hoped.” 

Ben held Han in his lap, wiping the cookies off his chubby cheeks and hands. Ben grinned, “I told you, there was nothing to worry about.”

Leia took the pair to one of the local home furnishing stores. She fussed about not having enough time to get quality furniture for Han and the baby. Ben assured her it was alright, each time Ben tried to pay for the items Leia would bat his hand away. 

“Please, Ben, let me have this.” She looked into her son’s eyes. 

Ben relented and smiled, kissing his mom’s cheek, “Thank you, Mom.”

After a couple of hours of shopping, Rey and Han were both tired and ready for a nap. All the items ordered would be delivered in the next forty-eight hours or less to Leia’s displeasure. Ben had to convince her that it would be alright, Han was used to sleeping with Ben and Rey and would take some time to get him used to a bed of his own. 

Once Ben got Rey and Han settled in his old room, thankful he had a king size bed, he met Leia in the living room. He knew she had a lot of questions for him, things he needed to discuss with her about their future.

Leia sat with a glass of wine in hand. She smiled when Ben joined her. 

“I don’t have to ask if you’re happy I see it written clearly on both of your faces.” Leia sipped her wine. “when you left here, where did the two of you go?”

Ben shrugged, “nowhere, everywhere we got into my car and drove.” Ben poured himself a glass of scotch and settled down in an armchair next to his Mother. “there was so much we didn’t know about each other, so much we didn’t understand. So, during those long hours of driving, we talked about everything. Our past, how we felt, what we wanted. Sometimes it was sweet; sometimes it was screaming at one another and crying, in the end, it was worth it all.” Ben took a drink, he smiled. “it was about the seventh day she said she loved me. I drove us to Las Vegas, and we were married.”

Leia sat sipping her wine, taking it all in. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you know sooner what was going on, but to be honest, we were both afraid.” Ben sighed and finished his drink. 

Leia’s eyebrows furrowed, “What could you possibly be afraid of Ben?”

Ben blushed and laid his head back on the chair, “afraid no one would accept us being together.”

Leia frowned, “I understand, if I didn’t see it myself, I don’t think I would have believed you two were meant to be together. But I look at that precious little boy.” Leia closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. “He looks so much like you did,” Leia opened her eyes and smiled, “you were such a happy little boy.”  
She wiped the wetness from her eyes, “I’m sorry Ben, I wasn’t there when you needed me most. Han and I had our problems, but they were never meant to be yours, can you forgive me?” she looked up at Ben.

He knelt at his mother’s knees and took her face in his hands, “Mom, I forgave you a long time ago. I want us to be a family. I want Han to know his grandmother. I want Rey to have a family she never had as a child.” Ben hugged his mom, “I want us all to be happy for a change.” He whispered, Leia, laid her forehead to his and smiled. “me too.”

Ben sat back in his chair, “After Vegas, we both decided to tour around Europe, Rey was born in London.”

Leia smiled, “I recognize the British accent, but wasn’t sure where she was born.”

Ben licked his lips, “Rey is a bit sensitive about her past. She was abandoned as a small child. She doesn’t remember anything about her parents. Some of her foster homes were...” Ben took a deep breath, “not healthy.” his voice was soft. Leia could hear the emotional strain in his tone. 

Leia shook her head, “I’m sorry. She seems to be a lovely girl.”

Ben smiled, “she is the light in my life. I want to give her everything.” He shook his head, “I fucked up so much in the past, I came so close to destroying her, destroying me it makes me sick thinking about it. I have to do right by them.” Ben wiped the tear away from his cheek. 

Leia reached over and took his hand, “You’re on the right path, son, I know you can do it.”

He returned her smile, “we were in Italy when we found out she was pregnant, we decided to go back to London, Rey still had citizenship. I wanted to be sure she had health care. We lived there for almost a year. After Han was old enough, we decided to continue our travels. We talked about coming home many times, Rey was nervous she wasn’t sure if she could handle anyone rejecting us as a couple. We agreed once we were both ready, we would come home and let everyone know.” Ben glanced over at Leia. She wore a smile.

“So, we decided to travel for a bit in South America,” Ben continued.

“Wasn’t that dangerous?” Leia frowned. 

Ben smiled, “Don’t worry Mom, they were both safe at all times.”

Leia could see the confidence in his eyes.

“We were in Argentina when we found out Rey was pregnant again. Rey decided that she was ready, so we started to make our way back home. And here we are,” Ben smiled.

Leia smiled. She heard Rey yawn as she walked into the room. She beamed as she sat in Ben’s lap. 

“Feeling better?” He asked as he kissed her cheek. 

“Much, she was kicking me. I think she is hungry.” Rey giggled. “Oh, she is moving again,” Rey smiled at Leia, “care to feel?”

Leia set her wine glass down. She stood next to the chair where Ben and Rey sat, both hands on Rey’s belly. She stood with a smile on her lips, Leia gasped when she felt a foot kick her hand. “Oh, she is a fighter,” Leia gushed. 

Rey smiled, “From the stories, Ben told me, sounds like she is going to take after you.” 

Leia’s smile broadened, “Oh heaven, help us all.”

 

Rey had an appointment with Dr. Holdo; it had been a couple of months since she had seen a doctor in Costa Rica. Ben had been her interpreter; she was surprised that Ben spoke several languages. He seemed to have so many hidden talents much to Rey’s delight. 

Rey insisted Leia joined Ben and herself for her appointment, and she felt guilty that Leia had missed the first year of Han’s life. After Rey and Ben became parents, they realized how much Leia must miss Ben. 

The small family would have been back in the States a month sooner, but much to Ben and Rey’s horror they found that Ben was wanted in Bolivia, Brazil and Colombia. Word of Ben executing Snoke, who had close ties to some of the higher officials in the countries put a hefty price tag on his head, along with anyone associated with Ben. They had traveled by vehicle, at one point they had to travel by foot through jungle to escape one of the order’s death troops. Once in Central America, they made their way to Costa Rica where Ben was able to Charter a flight to Jamaica, then Florida. 

All which Leia or anyone else they knew or cared about, would never find out about the dangerous journey home. 

Rey, like Dr. Holdo, the older woman, was kind; she had a warm demeanor. She let both Rey and Ben know precisely what she was doing and why. Her professional opinion Rey was at 34 weeks along. Rey was laid back on the examining table. The young ultrasound tech lathered Rey’s belly with gel. 

Leia stood close by with Han in her arms, the toddler happily playing with her pearls. The moment the wand touched Rey’s belly, the screen lit up, instantly, an arm appeared. A move of the wand and a view of the baby’s profile. 

Ben leaned closer, “can you tell if she is a girl?” 

The tech looked up at Ben. She moved the wand down till she could see the baby’s legs. With a couple of nudges, the baby turned mooned the ultrasound.

The tech smiled, “you have a girl.”

Ben grinned at his Mother and Rey, “Right again.”

Rey rolled her eyes, “thank you for the insight, Nostradamus.”

Rey watched the view of her baby, “is she ok?” She bit her bottom lip, she felt guilty for the lack of doctor visits, for putting their child at risk. 

“She looks healthy ten fingers and ten toes, but she is going to be a big baby, she is currently 48 CMS.” 

Leia laughed as she nodded to Ben, “taking after her daddy already.”

Rey frowned, “Han weighted 4.21 kg. how much do you think she’ll be when she is born?”

The tech looked at the screen, “Um at 40 weeks I’d be safe to say somewhere between 4.5 to 4.53 kilograms, give or take.” she smiled. 

Rey frowned and smacked Ben’s arm. Ben flinched, “what was that for?” he grinned, rubbing his arm.

Rey growled, “You know.”

 

Rey was nervous. She sat on the bed she shared with Ben the phone in hand. She knew Finn’s phone number by heart, and many times over the three years she thought about calling him. Each time she chickened out, she knew how much he was against her relationship with Ben. She knew if it was going to work between Ben and herself, she needed to nurture what she had with him. She didn’t feel strong enough yet to defend what she wanted. 

Coming home to have Leia accept her with open arms gave her the courage to pick up the phone after so long. Ben sat next to her; his hand rubbed her back, whispering words of encouragement. 

Rey smiled and brushed Ben’s cheek with a kiss, “here goes nothing.” She sighed and dialed his number. 

Rey’s breath caught in her chest at Finn’s greeting. Tears filled her eyes. A soft sob left her lips.

“Finn,” was all she could get out. Besides Ben, Finn was the only other man in her life she loved and trusted. 

She could feel his shock over the phone, “Peanut? OMG REY IS THAT YOU?” he yelled into the phone, a mix of fear, excitement, and relief came through loud and clear. 

“Yes, it’s me,” she quietly spoke.

“Where are you? Are you ok? Rey, what happened to you?” Finn was firing questions faster than Rey could answer.

“It’s,” she sighed, “I’d like to see you. I can tell you everything.”

“Are you with him?” Finn asked almost a whisper.

Rey didn’t want to lie, “Yes, I’d like to see you, Finn. Please, I want to tell you everything.” She asked her stomach in knots, tears rolling down her cheeks. Ben wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He felt his chest tight. He hated seeing Rey in pain. 

“Please Finn,” she asked her voice quivered. 

“Yes, I’d love to see you, Rey, I’ve missed you so much.” Finn quickly responded, “How about lunch at Lucie’s?” 

Rey smiled. It was their favorite little diner they had lunch every Thursday, “that would be wonderful. I’ll see you in a bit,” Rey wiped the tears from her cheeks, “thank you, Finn.” 

She smiled at Ben as she set the phone down. Ben kissed her head, “it will be ok Sweetheart, he loves you.” Ben comforted Rey, “I just hope he can see I’m truly happy and not stuck in some delusion of love.”

“I have faith in you, we'll see.” Ben kissed her head. “I’ve made an appointment with Dr. Yoda.” 

Rey grinned to herself, “Oh, you mean Mr. Miyagi?”

Ben laughed, “Yea, I used to give him so much shit, but he did help me in the right direction. I think it would be beneficial if I saw him a few more times.” 

Rey nodded, “I’ve been thinking about calling Dr. Tano. I mean, I felt close to her.” She smiled, “she helped me to own my past. To let go some of the pain, I was holding onto.” Rey grinned at Ben, “I feel like we have come so far, but talking to someone will help us grow. It can only make what we have stronger.” 

“You make me stronger,” Ben kissed her forehead, “you and the gremlin,” Ben laughed.

 

Rey arrived at Lucie’s a little after noon, she saw Finn sitting in the back booth. He smiled when he saw Rey walk in, his eyes widen when he took note of Rey’s round belly. His smile slipped from his face, a look of confusion and horror. Rey stopped short of the booth, unsure what to do she felt the prickle of tears gather in her eyes.

Finn’s eyes left her body up to her face, the realization his reaction was hurting Rey. He stood up his arms opened wide he pulled her into his embrace, “I’m sorry peanut, it was just a shock.” His tone remorseful, he placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. 

Rey sniff, she drew in her breath, slowly letting it out before sitting down, “I’m sorry I didn’t call,” she held his hands across the table. “I know how this looks, but I have to tell you I’m happy, honest to God happy.” She smiled at her oldest friend.

Finn sat back, taking in everything Rey had said, the look in her eyes, “Well, peanut if you are happy, I’m happy for you.” Finn smiled. He sat back and let Rey go over everything that had happened in the past three years. About Han, how Ben worshipped the ground she walked on, they both decided it was time to come home. To give Han a chance to know his grandmother and the people special in their lives. 

Finn agreed to come to dinner to meet Ben, Han, and Leia, Rey wanted him to be comfortable around her family. It was an awkward meeting. Everyone was on their best behavior. Before long Finn and Rey fell back into their Thursday lunches, some days it was with Ben and Han, others it was just Finn and herself. 

Rey made it a point to see Dr. Tano. She was happy to see Rey had made great strides in dealing with her past and allowing herself to be satisfied. Ahsoka was happy. Rey decided to continue her therapy sessions. 

Life for Rey and Ben seem to fall into a natural rhythm, Rey was happy she could incorporate Finn into her family again.

Ben became restless; his time and training with Snoke didn’t seem to translate to the corporate world. Rey had suggested he would be an excellent self-defense trainer. They had decided after the second baby was born Ben would investigate starting a school of sorts. 

Rey was fast approaching her due date, yet they still could not decide on a name. Rey didn’t want a common name, Mary, Sue, Beth or Tiffany. They had spent hours going over the baby name book. Rey sat back with her eyes closed. A frown etched on her beautiful tired face. 

“We could name her after my Grandmother, Padma?” Ben sat at the kitchen counter, eating a pb and j sandwich. 

Rey smiled, “it’s old fashion, Padma is a beautiful name?”

Leia laughed ‘I love it.”

 

Rey sat uncomfortably on the table in Dr. Holdo’s office, her back hurt, and she couldn’t find a comfortable way to sleep. Holdo did her measurements, weighed Rey, and took her temperature. 

“You’re past your due date,” Holdo pursed her lips, “if she doesn’t come by the end of the week, we will have to induce labor.”

Rey groaned, “Is there anything I can do to help this along?”

“Walking, light exercise,” Holdo smiled “sex, all of these activities have been known to help labor along.”

Rey looked up at Ben, who just stood with a smile. 

Leia had Han for Rey’s appointment, the moment they entered the house, Rey grabbed Ben by the hand and led him to their bedroom.

“You got me this way,” she pushed him down on the bed, “You are going to help me get this kid out.” 

Rey stripped out of her shirt and bra, she toed off her shoes and slipped the skirt off her hips and pushed her panties down, she allowed her clothes to lay on the floor before she climbed on the bed on her hands and knees. 

Ben quickly disrobed as he climbed on the bed behind her, “I’ve got you, baby,” he kissed her back. He sat back and admired the view. Rey looked over her shoulder with an eyebrow raised. Ben gave her a wolfish smile before bending over, and with a swipe of his tongue, he drew a wet line up her sex. Rey moaned and pushed her hips back to his mouth. 

“Ben,” Rey moaned, she shook her ass, “I need you.”

“I’ve got you, baby, I’ve got you.” He bent down each kiss, and lick had her moaning for more. “Oh, baby, you taste so sweet,” he worked her clit till she was wet and shaking as her orgasm rippled through her body. 

Rey whined, she needed him pounding her like there was no tomorrow.

Slowly he drugs the head of his cock through her wet folds, “Ready for me, Sweetheart?”

Rey moaned, “Yes, please, Ben, fuck me already.” She groaned she needed to feel him deep in her body.

Ben pushed into her tight sex. He moaned, taking a moment to center himself before he gave her a quick thrust. 

“Let me know if you feel anything, other then my cock,” He grinned. 

“Ben,” Rey growled, “fuck me.” She demanded.

Ben laughed, “yes, ma’am.”

With that he set a punishing pace, rocking her small body, Rey’s moans and the sound of their body’s slapping against one another filled the room. “fuck Ben, yes yes, THERE,” she screamed.

“God yes Ben there don’t move that feels so ... fuck so good.” She moaned her fingers were holding the sheets in her tight grip. 

Ben held her by her hips, pounding into the Love of his life, he could feel the tension of his orgasm build, he leaned forward to rub her clit. “come on Sweetheart come for me, show me how much you love my cock.”

Ben’s cock hit all the right spots. His nimble fingers rubbed her clit. She trembled as the orgasm ripped through her body, leaving her moaning and gasping for breath. 

Her body tightens, the exquisite squeeze of her cunt pushed him over the edge. Ben held her by the hips till he was utterly spent. “fuck Rey, I wouldn’t be surprised if you became pregnant again.”

Ben pulled out and laid down on is the side facing Rey; she laid facing him. 

Rey laughed, “Oh, that would just make your day wouldn’t it.”

“What can I say I’m a man of simple pleasures, and You my Love is my greatest pleasure.” He leaned over and kissed her before getting up to find a washcloth to clean Rey. 

Rey laid napping in the bed she had just made love to Ben in when her water broke. Rey’s eyes opened confused, worried, and embarrassed; she wet the bed. Reality struck her. She sat up when the first contraction hit.

“BEN,” Rey called, she waited all a minute before he busted into the bedroom phone in hand. 

She couldn’t help the smile. She laughed at his full eye anticipation, “it’s time.”

They had it all planned along with a bag set up for Rey, Leia had Han and would call everyone. Over the month, they had stayed with Leia, Rey had become friends with Rose. In turn, she became friends with Finn. Rey hoped the pair would hit it off, both were kind caring people, and she couldn’t think of a better match. 

Padma Daisy Solo was born at 4.5 kilo and 52cm long. Mother and baby were healthy. Their family and friends surrounded Ben and Rey; both were Happy.


End file.
